We are Family

In my province (in Canada), we have a holiday today.  It’s Family Day here in Ontario.

This video came into my inbox just in time!  I am using it instead of a blog, today.  That way, I can spend time with my family!  It’s my You Tube debut, and it outlines what I do in my business My You Tube Debut.  I hope you enjoy…

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Happy Being Me

One of the steps that I coach my clients through in my program is called “Your Health and You Time”. As a mother, it is sometimes very difficult to take the time to take care of ourselves. If we have also left an abusive relationship, sometimes our mind cannot even wrap around that concept initially. We forget how it is to be “Happy Being Me“. We feel like we are being selfish.

But, who determines selfishness? I would say that it is usually an outside source. Now, I’m not talking about buying a Gucci purse and not buying groceries for our kids~hat is negligence. I mean doing something really nice for yourself.

Let’s examine something simple like getting your nails done, for instance. A manicure with a massage is $20-$30 tops. Perhaps you could push back on the grocery money by $5 without having a really noticeable difference in the whole budget. In five or so weeks, you can have a manicure with a hand massage. I am almost certain that your children will love the mother that comes home that evening! I call that “Cheap You Time”!

As Moms, we often don’t take care of our health, either. Although I am “Happy Being Me” in many ways, my weight is not one of them. I have been overweight for most of my life. At the beginning of January, I cut out sugar and simple carbs from my diet. I also had a colon hydrotherapy session to remove the crud from my system. I feel fabulous, but I now need to address my eating habits.

This time, I decided that I am going to use a health coach. I have been on countless eating plans (aka diets), and have never been successful. There was no accountability for what I was doing, so whenever I felt challenged, I reverted back to my old habits. I have decided that I need to splurge on this for ME. What good am I to my kids if I cannot keep up with them? What example am I showing them if I am overweight? If I want them to eat properly and be healthy, I have to do the same.

To be “Happy Being Me“, I believe that we have to take care of ourselves. We need to put the correct food into our system, and give our bodies the exercise necessary to keep us fit and alert. But, we need a little pampering as well, because we have been through a lot, and we deserve it.

May you have Water for Your Journey,

Stephanie, Emerging Princess

“The moment we give up our excuses and fully accept responsibility for our own health and happiness is the moment we harness our true power to change.” ~ Bill Phillips

 

http://bit.ly/gvee82

 

 

Little Pictures Have Ears

As a tribute to the birthdate (February 7th, 1867) and date of passing (February 10th, 1957) of Ms Laura Ingalls Wilder, I repost the following:

One of my favourite shows as a child was Little House on the Prairie. I know…I was a dweeb! But, because of my upbringing, I learned to love wholesome shows. Recently, my daughter reminded me about a saying that Laura Ingalls used to say: “Little pictures have ears“. By that, Laura was referring to the children, who were nearby, and “seeing” what was going on, but hearing a lot more! Little pictures have ears.

For many years, I thought that you could tell kids what to do, and that would be cool. Train them well, and everything would be all right. What absolute hogwash! Children are mirrors of what happens around them. They will absorb and drip out what goes into them. They soak things up like sponges soak up water. I recently watched this in action. A couple of kids were horsing around in the presence of a two-year old. He watched what they were doing, and when they were done, went over and did the same thing back to them. It only took less than 30 seconds. Little pictures have ears.

Why, then, if we are raising kids in a negative environment, do we expect positive things to come from it? Ouch! If we expose our children to arguing, angry comments or put-downs, will we not also produce children that want to do that to their siblings or to other people?

This was a lesson I learned the hard way! If you are raising a child in a negative environment, be on guard. Actions never lie! In my upcoming book, I quote a poem by Dorothy Law Nolte called Children Learn What They Live. I hope that poem inspires you to guard not only your words, but your actions, around these Little Pictures With Ears!

May You Have Water For Your Journey,

Stephanie, Emerging Princess

You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth.

~Khalil Gibran

 

Celebration!

It is human nature to minimize things.  I know that I, for one, don’t celebrate things that I accomplish.

I believe that when a person has left an abusive relationship (and/or if there was abuse when they were growing up), “bigging” themself up is a very hard thing to do.  For instance, if you left an abusive relationship, that’s huge.  You can celebrate the beginning of a life free from bondage.  If you have learned to forgive your former partner…that’s massive.  Most people never get to that place, and live their lives surrounded with bitterness.  Maybe you landed an amazing job, or started a new business.  Those are all things that should be celebrated.

So here’s the question:  Did you celebrate any of those successes?  Did you tell your friends the wonderful things that happened in your life?  Or did you minimize them as “just something ordinary” that happened in your day.

I am part of a mastermind group.  Once a week, I spend time with a few ladies from around the globe, and we work at making our lives match our dreams.  We are encouraged to gripe about something that is bugging us.  However, we have to also come up with a few things that are going well from the week.  As a matter of fact, this is something that we now have to do daily.

I am a speaker, writer and Recovery Coach.  As with any other start-up, there are all kinds of  challenges.  I often rant that things are not going as planned.  I’d like to make more money, have more speaking engagements, or write a bestseller.  There are so many things that I can harp about that are not going my way.  However, the daily exercise of finding daily successes  has opened my eyes to the things that are going well in my life.

Tomorrow, I will be doing my first television interview.  I will be a featured guest on the Liquid Lunch Show with Hugh Reilly on ThatChannel.com.  After the show, I will walk to the local mall and order a frozen yogourt.  Then I will sit and watch the shoppers go by.  It will be a simple thing, but it will be my celebration of one more success.

May your cup always be full,

Stephanie, Emerging Princess

To help you with the celebration: http://bit.ly/afSdAM

The Pursuit of Happyness

On July 4th, 2009, I started on my journey to freedom, in The Pursuit of Happyness.  Some details about that can be found here.

When I started my quest, I stayed in a shelter with my youngest daughter.  This was our choice for peace of mind.  When I tell people that I stayed in a shelter, I get a lot of “Oh my goodness!”, or “Really?  How awful”.  Although the shelter stay can be a bit harrowing (because it is not your permanent home), what is really awful is the reason that brought you there.

First of all, I will dispel some of the myths about shelters.

1.  They are not soup kitchens.  Soup kitchens meet the need for immediate food for the community.  Most soup kitchens do not provide a place to sleep.

2.  They are not a temporary overnight sleeping space.  Most people think that I stayed in a place similar to the one seen in the Pursuit of Happyness.  The shelters that are for people leaving abusive situations are not for single night stays.  Can you imagine how stressful it would be for someone who just left an abusive relationship, to look for a new sleeping location each night?  These places exist, but not for situtions such as mine.

3.  Shelters are not clean. That is not so.  You will find some people who were not taught proper hygiene or ettiquette, but those people exist throughout society.

4.  Shelters are only for the lower class.  Completely false!  More and more, professionals are finding their way to shelters when they are suddenly forced with the decision to leave an abusive relationship.  The problem is that the shelter’s amenities are usually below the “Tifffany Class” victim’s standards, and they go back to their abuser, citing that things were not that bad after all.  This happens quite frequently, unfortunately.

There are so many more myths and misconceptions.

The shelter was a very huge phase on my quest for The Pursuit of Happyness.  There, I was able to destress and let go of a lot of the sadness that I felt over a failed marriage.  The counsellors gave me the opportunity to grieve, for I had lost a big part of me.  I was was able to start the journey to getting back on my feet.  I now know that The Pursuit of Happyness begins with me!

If you, or someone  you love is in need of shelter services, I encourage you not to wait.  Help is available for you if you would only reach out for it.

May You Find Water For Your Journey,

Stephanie, Emerging Princess

When you get into a tight place,And everything goes against you

Till it seems as though you could not hang on a minute longer;

Never give up then!

For that is just the place and time that the tide will turn.

Harriet Beacher Stowe

Hello World!

I have been hemming and hawing about blogging for a while. It’s not that I didn’t want to blog, because I do. However, what I have been stuck on is who I was going to represent as I blogged. I have blogged on my website, and I was not satisfied.

You see, I am a Speaker, Writer and a Coach. For the last while, I have been doing Divorce Recovery Coaching. But, my story goes much deeper. I have the capability to work with women who have gone through abusive relationships. I survived one, and have the experience and Coaching tools to help women who are recovering.

Recently, I decided that I was not going to fight the issue any more. (I actually had the help of a friend to push me along.  Thanks Doina!) Since I decided that I am Stephanie, the survivor of abuse, who writes, speaks and coaches in that regard, doors have opened up left-right-and-centre. I am going to speak in High Schools, I’m taking part in Symposiums and appearing on web TV. This was all from word of mouth, and from people calling me out of the blue. I struggled while going the other route. I guess this is God’s way of telling me that I have a message to share.

So, where do I go from here? I am not a bitter survivor. I hope to shed some light on a dark facet of our society~those realities may be hard to swallow. I will attempt to find and share resources that will help women as they journey from being victims to being empowered members of society. But above all, I hope to give uplifting musings of an Emerging Princess as she shows other survivors that they are Emerging Princesses, too!

As an added bonus, I will share some snippets of my book that I hope to release in May of 2012. Although the book is written from a Christian perspective, I am in no way religious. Please don’t hold my Christianity against me! 🙂 I’ll probably offend many pious people with my views.

As I blog, if you have been helped by what I write, please share on Facebook, LinkedIn, Twitter or whatever other social media vehicle that you may use. My goal is to make the Emerging Princess site a huge community for women who want to leave the stigma of the word “victim” behind.

May you find Water for Your Journey,

Stephanie, Emerging Princess

 A wise man once said, “There comes a time in your life, when you walk away from all the drama and people who create it. You surround yourself with people who make you laugh. Forget the bad, and focus on the good. Love the people who treat you right, pray for the ones who don’t. Life is too short to be anything but happy. Falling down is a part of life, getting back up is living.”

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Water For The Journey

Book Release PartyOctober 25th, 2013
The long-awaited release of Water For The Journey: 156 Days To Freedom. All day givaways and book release party!
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