Excuse Me…

Excuses are the #1 killer of dreams. Most people don’t know that excuses form as a result of a hidden fear of something that we don’t want to address. So, we can say that fear is the number one killer of dreams. As humans, we can come up with incredibly fruitful ideas that may turn out to be very lucrative, or even make it so that we don’t have to ever work again. I’m sure you have had one, “you know what would be cool?” idea. Why don’t we act on them?

The answer is FEAR. I know from experience, I was very scared to try anything new after starting my new life. I had already failed at marriage…I apparently sucked at picking a mate. Adventure? Risk? No way!

I volunteer with an elementary school in my city. I love the age group that I work with~the grade 4s. At this age, the kids are still somewhat free and easy, but they are also coachable. What I learned from them, and still continue to learn, is that some parents start teaching their children to be fearful, based on their own experiences. Then there are the ones whose parents teach them that the world is their oyster, open it up and claim their pearl! This behaviour is evident, especially when going on special trips, such as the swimming pool.

On a trip to the pool one day, the kids were assessed on their ability to swim a short distance. We had everything from the tip-toers to the dolphins, making their way across the pool. The dolphins inspired me! They dove from the deep end, and swam as if they were one with the water. I was buoyed to let go of my fear of the water, and get back in the pool. (I had not worn a bathing suit in over 25 years!) Igad, that would mean I had to buy a bathing suit. Ugh! Have you SEEN my thighs? After finding an appropriate suit, I had to get back into the water.

Ironically, around the same time, a fellow business classmate asked if I would like to go sailing. I should clarify that~would I like to MAN a sail? After agreeing, I promptly forgot about it, until the day of the event. By then, it was too late to back down, and my kids reminded me of that fact that I was afraid of the water. “Too late”, I said, as I headed to the pier.

I took one look at the sailboat and the open lake, and decided that I was done with it. What a blast! I got into the boat and at times was soaked when the boat tipped at a 45° angle to the lake. Enjoying myself was not something that I originally anticipated. But it was my choice. I said I would help. I needed to pull my weight. If I was gonna sail, though, I might as well have fun doing it!

From that day, it was easy to get into the pool. I have not learned to swim yet, but I am no longer fearful of the water. Ironically, while at the pool with the schoolkids, there were some acronyms for fear posted on the bulletin board. Most people know the original one:





I also learned this one:





But the one I said “ouch” to was:





Can you say, “Anbesol“? I had so many reasons why I didn’t go into a pool. It was bad for my hair and my skin. (Hello, there are salt water pools!) I couldn’t find an appealing bathing suit. My thighs are too large! I could go on and on. But, when I let go of those excuses and reasons, I was able to do something outside of my comfort zone, AND enjoy myself. The surprise was that I didn’t fail at it. I wasn’t a pro at swimming or sailing, but I wasn’t a failure at it, either.

Susan Jeffers says, “Feel The Fear And Do It Anyways.” Feeling fear is a natural part of our existence. Being paralyzed by it impedes our growth. Why don’t we find another acronym for fear? How about:





May Your Cup Always Be Full,

Emerging Princess


1 Comment (+add yours?)

  1. Sis
    Jul 02, 2012 @ 12:16:28

    yes, it is hard to face our fears and let them go. I’m constantly battling mine.


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Water For The Journey

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