Big It Up

Courland settlements in Americas (New Courland...

Courland settlements in Americas (New Courland on Tobago). (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

This summer, I had the pleasure of having a trip to my birthplace.  I was born in Trinidad and Tobago, and I hadn’t been back in a while.  People would ask me, “Are you excited”?  Each time, I would respond, “Not yet”.

On the day of my flight, I got to the airport and checked in my bags.  I was flying by way of Miami.  As I was leaving, my mother and kids asked me, “Are you excited?”  Again, the reply was, “No, not yet”.  During the flight to Miami, I preoccupied my mind with the cool GPS system that was attached to the headrest in front of me.  It was scorching when I arrived in Miami.  I ventured outside to kill time between my two flights.  On the grounds, there was a splendid display of flags from all over the world.  I smiled as they waved in time with the palm trees on the grounds.  “This is a tease of ‘back home’, I mused.

My connecting flight was not as pleasurable as the first.  The GPS was absent from the backrest, and the movie that was showing was a dud.  As it was getting dark, I chose to go to sleep.  I awoke about 45 minutes before we landed.  Soon, I could see the shape of the island ahead.  Mountains and glimmering lights could be visible as the island jutted out of the black sea and midnight sky.  Could it be…?  Excitement started to make an appearance!  First my eyes began to twinkle.  My lips joined in, displaying a big, wide smile.  My heart was next with a quickened beat—and soon my whole body was tingling with the excitement of the impending vacation adventure.  At long last, excitement was in the house!

My actual trip is for another blog.  This behaviour that I displayed (previous to viewing the island) was very subdued—based on what I was experiencing.  I had been given a trip—it was a gift—and I wasn’t jumping up and down.  I didn’t “big it up”.  That is how I treated most adventures…with lukewarm enthusiasm.  Why was that?

I looked at my life, like a movie on rewind.  During my previous marriage (where finances were always in check), I didn’t have many adventures.  Whenever something was planned, the possibility arose that there could be (and there almost always was) something to derail it.  This often happened when I was a kid, as well.  Most recently, I was the first one to stand up to claim a prize at a banquet, and I was not picked.  My daughter said that it was because I was not excited enough, and I did not make enough noise.

Could it be that I didn’t have an “adventurous” life because I wasn’t excited enough?  Or was it that I didn’t have excitement because I didn’t treat adventures as they should be treated?  Did it even matter which of the above was correct?  Either way, I was, inadvertently, living passively, if not pessimistically.  It didn’t seem that way, but it was true.  I was still acting like a kid when opportunities or adventures came along—crossing my fingers, and maybe even my toes, in hopes that things would go my way.  I didn’t know how to “Big It Up”!

What if I jumped in with both feet when these things were presented to me?  Suppose I really looked at each new experience, each new destination, every great gift, as if it were something fantastic that was meant for just ME?  Can it be that I was robbing myself by playing, or being small?  The answer is, yes.  Resoundingly, yes I was!

I personally am tired of selling myself small, not speaking up, and being passive and demure.  It’s time to BIG IT UP!!  YEAH BABY!!!!

Have you been playing small?  Maybe someone told you that you were too loud.  Or maybe you were disappointed often,

English: A majestic and sunny view of Parlatuv...

English: A majestic and sunny view of Parlatuvier Bay in Trinidad and Tobago. This picture was taken of this beautiful bay in February 2009 on a cable car. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

like I was.  If you’re comfortable, I’d love to hear about your stories.

May Your Cup Always Be Full,

Emerging Princess

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Water For The Journey

Book Release PartyOctober 25th, 2013
The long-awaited release of Water For The Journey: 156 Days To Freedom. All day givaways and book release party!
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