Choices: Victim vs. Responsible

This is a hard blog to write, and I’m gonna do it anyways.

Twenty-seven years ago this month, I moved out on my own.  I didn’t like the guidelines that my parents had in place.  They were too strict, to old-fashioned.  I wanted to do my own thing; make my own rules; go my own way.  I was almost 21.

When I did that, I walked away from my faith as I knew it, and my family.  By that summer, I was pregnant with my first child, living far away from my hometown and my family.  Although I was alone and pregnant, I WAS IN CHARGE!!

As time progressed, I decided to marry my baby’s father, despite the fact that he displayed a bad temper.  My parents tried to dissuade me from marrying him, saying that it wasn’t going to last.  At the time, I thought that it was because they believed he wasn’t “good enough”.  I wanted to have a complete family.  I was gonna prove them wrong!

My parents were right!  I stayed in a marriage, that turned out to be verbally abusive, for 23 years.  I left three times, trying to find peace during a very bad situation.  The last time I left, it was for good.

This past week, I have been repeatedly listening to a CD called “Victim vs. Responsible” by the late Brian Klemmer.  I thought back to the many times that I wanted to blame people for the choices that I made to create my reality.  Often, I defended m passive stand in situations, rather than standing up and moving in my power.  So much wasted time!

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We go through life not realizing the impact of the word CHOICE.  The choices we make today may impact this afternoon, our week, a year, or a lifetime.  I CHOSE to think that I knew better than my parents~they were right!  I CHOSE to have unprotected sex~I had a baby as a result.  I CHOSE to marry a man with a temper, despite the signs~he didn’t disappoint, and abused me verbally.  I CHOSE to go back to him twice~I received more of the same.  I CHOSE not to go back~I now live free!

I’m not negating the fact that I was a “victim of abuse”.  I am saying that I am now whole and can own that I had a part in.  I chose to give my power away.  (When you are in an abusive situation as a victim, you do not see the word CHOICE in the same light.)

Now, I actively choose, instead of playing the victim.  I choose to only have good days.  I choose to live peacefully.  I choose to let go, so that I can receive.  I choose to forgive so that I can thrive.  I choose to be grateful each and every day.  I choose to have a joyful heart.  I choose to smile.  I choose to help people reach their destiny.  I choose to hug, and get close to people~even though that means that I may occasionally get sick.  Because, I also choose to leave a legacy of being a giver and someone who cares.  So that means that I also choose to love people, even if it means I’ll get hurt.

Are you happy with the choices you are making?  Will they create a legacy that you can be proud of?  Are you a victim, or are you responsible?

May Your Cup Always Be Full,

Stephanie, Emerging Princess

www.createdtoexcel.ca

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4 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Lianne-carla Savage
    Aug 11, 2013 @ 07:23:18

    Thank you for sharing your experience

    Reply

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Water For The Journey

Book Release PartyOctober 25th, 2013
The long-awaited release of Water For The Journey: 156 Days To Freedom. All day givaways and book release party!
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