Take Ten …

This is so timely for my life right now!

VESSELS OF VISION

LIVING SUCCESS 3D--10

What inner obstacle(s) do you need to overcome, to grow your success?

~ Judit e. Szabo

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I’m Not Broken, Just Bent

Wow, another year has passed.  This is a reflective post.  Today, which is also my birthday, I’m examining love, and my heart.

Some people wonder why I stayed in an abusive marriage so long.  The love may have been gone a long while before I left.  Although finances played a big part in the decision, the main reason is that I give…big…with my whole heart.  You can step on me a lot before I’ll give up, especially if I love you.  It’s gotten much better than before.  I definitely can spot abuse a mile off, and I run far far away from it.

But, should I stop loving that way?  Even when I volunteer, I give my love away.  Today I said goodbye to a kindergarten class that I volunteer with.  The boys were the first ones to come up to me and give me hugs.  One was crying that he didn’t want me to leave.  Tomorrow it’s the Grade 5s, who I started working with almost 2 years ago.  They are also going to give me the same treatment (although the boys probably won’t cry).  Big hugs, big love.

Recently, my life was touched by a young man who gave up on life.  He didn’t get the love that he was so desperately looking for.  Not from his mother, not from his father…and when he asked his grandfather~there was no hope there either.  He died tragically a little while ago.  No hugs, small love.

Some things change you.  This has.  Especially in light of the fact that I’m also nursing a “broken heart” from giving big hugs, big love.  I’ve had to re-assess a dream, and it doesn’t feel good.  Is it possible for this dream to come true?  Is it time to

English: Love Heart symbol

English: Love Heart symbol (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

give up on it?  Am I even being realistic?  The answers lie in one phrase, “I’m not broken, just bent.”  My dreams are possible, and I am being realistic.  I can give my love away freely.  I CHOOSE to give my love away~to my kids; to my grandson, and all of the adopted grandkids I now have; to young kids who need attention; to young adults who need a hug; to a special person, so we can make a life together.  Will I get hurt again?  Absolutely!  Am I gonna stop as a result?  Absolutely not!  I am more determined than ever to show love to any and every one that needs it.  And my reward is being called Meamah, Mommy or Mumzy by people that are not even related to me.  I guess that’s the biggest birthday present of all!

I’m not broken, just bent.  Big hugs, big love.

May Your Cup Always Be Full,

Stephanie, Emerging Princess

Porcupine Pie

It’s been a while since I’ve posted.  As I naturally lean theologically, this one came to me today.

Yesterday (June 12th, 2013), my eldest daughter graduated from college.  Although the journey took a circuitous route, my daughter is now “legally” a fashion designer.  There are so many metaphors in this single occasion.  I’m going to zero in on one.

As you can see from the pic below, me and my daughter rock “natural” hair (as do my other 2 daughters).  This can be a big issue for the woman of colour.  Some prefer to go through the trials of having relaxers, weaves or wigs.  My girls and I are NOT to making a statement.  We are NOT proving that we are better than anyone.  We just prefer our own hair, as it comes out of our scalp.  This has been a bone of contention for my former partner.  He is of the belief that “something” should be done with hair for black women.  Either way, I believe that there is no place to push your views of how you believe someone should wear their hair.

After her graduation ceremony, my daughter went to greet her father.  The first thing out of his mouth was, “When are you going to do something with your hair?  I’ll give you some money.  Oh, congratulations, by the way.”  He served up an unwanted piece of Porcupine Pie.  Little did he know, this diss allowed me the freedom of enjoying the reception at her commencement.  She fully made no effort to find him in the crowd after that.  I hung out with my daughter’s friends, took pictures and gave hugs.  My daughter and I were then were able to enjoy a leisurely afternoon together, walking through downtown Toronto.

Later that evening, my daughter did connect with her father.  He now lives alone.  His words have pushed away the people who are supposed to be the closest to him.  It truly is a sad thing.  Yet, isn’t life about relationships?  Isn’t is great to be in the company of another human being, having conversation and connection?  I know what it was like while I was in the abusive marriage.  I wished that I could talk to people.  I wished that I had a friend.  I wished that I wasn’t so alone.

The thing is, the choice is ours.  It is up to us whether we give love, or Porcupine Pie.  I now choose to give big to the people I come in contact with.  I choose to have deep, meaningful conversations with lots of people, especially 20-something year olds.  There are many youngsters who call me Meamah or “Mrs. T.” even though they are not my own child.  If someone willingly chooses to call me an endearment such as that, what an honour to be thought of so highly!  I choose to hug lots and lots of people.  I believe that when you love on people, you will never be alone.  My arms and my heart are big enough.  So at holidays, my house is full of people who may (or may not) have family nearby, and they want pleasant company.  At any given moment, my kids may say to me, “Mumsy, my friend(s) are coming over”.  They weren’t able to to that before.  I will guard that freedom like a hawk.  There’s no joy greater than knowing you have influenced someone positively.

Proverbs 15:1 says:  “A gentle answer deflects anger, but harsh words make tempers flare. [NLT])  Or, it turns away a whole family.  And there is a saying by Elbert Hubbard:  “In order to have friends, you must first be one.”  H’mmm…interesting.  Porcupine Pie anyone?  Not a chance.  I’m learning to be that which I desire.

May Your Cup Always Be Full,

Stephanie, Emerging Princess

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Yes, there actually IS a song called Porcupine Pie!  (Don’t ask…)

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Water For The Journey

Book Release PartyOctober 25th, 2013
The long-awaited release of Water For The Journey: 156 Days To Freedom. All day givaways and book release party!
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