Powerful i AM

I have often shared my story of how I left an abusive relationship. I have many, many stories inside me about how this affected my life, and the lives of my kids.  Today, I am going to share parts my Powerful i AM talk, which I prepared for High School girls.

It’s been almost five years that I left my 23-year, verbally abusive marriage.  My girls were the reason I stayed, and ultimately why I also left.  Financial independence, or lack thereof, is one of the most pressing reasons why women stay in domestic violence.  I was no exception. I didn’t think that I could make it on my own. To be quite honest, I thought that I wouldn’t be able to make ends meet, that I would be always living below the poverty line.  Well, I’ve done that for many of those solo years since leaving. I survived, and I definitely would shake the image that most people have of how poverty looks. That is for another blog!

I stated that I also left because of my girls. Towards the end of my marriage, the two children that were still at home would beg me to leave each and every day. I’d work the 2-10pm shift, and when I came home, they would come out of their rooms and say, “Mumsy, can we leave tonight, pleeeese?”  Or I’d call home on my breaks, and there would be some incident that happened between their father and them.   It truly was mayhem on steroids! One of the biggest driving reasons that cemented my decision to leave was my eldest daughter.  While she was at home, she was the one that got the angriest when her father would yell at me. Yet, despite the fact that she hated what her father did to me, she, too, chose to enter into a verbally abusive relationship.  To make matters worse, she was now pregnant, and determined, like I was, to make her family work.

The knowledge of this, and the stress from my own situation, sent me into a breakdown just before I left. This “meltdown” was extremely hard to go through, as I could not show my ex-husband that I was leaving. So I had a strategic breakdown. Work gave me 2 weeks to get my act together. I sought therapy, and allowed myself to mourn. I gave myself permission to feel the pain of staying in a relationship so long. I grieved the wasted time.  I felt the guilt of exposing my kids to a bully, and therefore setting them up to be bullied~or to be a bully. I journalled my feelings and sobbed and belly-wept.  It was interesting that during this time, I went to places that I once feared~like the park areas above Niagara Falls, which was near my home, and other places with swift-moving waters. Then I went home and held it all together.

After I left the relationship, there was just one thing on my mind: “Get my Baby Girl out!”  There was a motto at the shelter that the Counsellors would tell us: “The longer you’re in, the longer you’re in.” It may not make any sense initially when you read that. I KNEW that if I didn’t convince my daughter  to leave soon, it would be harder later. It became painfully clear to me that Children Learn What They Live, and my daughter had learned from the master.  Here is the poem that I now share with people:

Words of Wisdom…

And I’ll add:

If a child lives with abuse, they learn how to abuse, or be abused.

This is my grandson. He is a beautiful little boy, and smart as a whip!

Ethan Posing

He has a Mother, two Aunties, a Meamah and a Grandma, that are behind him to make sure he is a polite and courteous little boy~and I’ll tell ya, this has been a challenge!. We make sure that he treats women exceptionally well. Why? Because his heritage has flaws in that department. And there is no way that any of the women in his life will stand by and let this little life be ruined!  His mother made it out!

Instead of one person learning how to live after abuse, there were four. My eldest daughter and I went through programs to help us cope with the emotions of living with abuse.  I still take courses and training to improve my mind, and make me a better human being.  The one thing that I have learned which, is a common thread throughout each program is: You have the capability of changing your destiny with the words:  i AM.  You can climb mountains, you can be an entrepreneur, you can make millions, and you can bounce back after abuse. I learned that:  i AM Powerful!

i AM has helped me retrain my mind.  As I was recovering, I would tell myself, “I am amazing”; “I am beautiful”; “I am a good friend”; “I am an All-Star”; “I am successful”!

i AM can shift your destiny!  It can put fire in your belly, and help you up from the crumpled heap that someone may have left you in.

Fill in the blanks for yourself…i AM:

Amazing                               Vivacious

           Unique                                 Blessed

Fantabulous                                  Bold

Extraordinary                                 Strong

                     Smart                               Joyful

                      Brilliant                               Courageous 

My beautiful daughter graduated from college as a Fashion Designer. She is stunning, smart (h’mm, I see a trend here), and an amazing aspiring Designer.

Stephanie & Family-67

(Holla all you Fashion Peeps that can hook a Sista up!)  Yes, it took her a little longer to finish school (ok, a LOT longer).  She was determined that she would re-write her future with the words i AM.  She can tell her own story.  I know that the words i AM changed her destiny!

YOU ARE POWERFUL!

Stephanie, Now the Renaissance Queen

Pursue Your Passion & Live A Legacy

~~~~~~~~~~~

When I created the talk for High School girls, I designed a logo to go with it.  Today, I release the t-shirts that go with this talk. The logo says Powerful i AM, and you can get any empowering word (that is not offensive to race, gender or creed) added to it. I hope you enjoy the ones that I have designed already. If you have an idea for a word that you don’t see (and there will be lots), please e-mail me at programs@createdtoexcel.ca, and I will be happy to get it done for you.

Courageous

Go here to purchase the tees for $20. Thank you, in advance, for your support.

~S

The Game Changer

Every now and then, something happens in our lives, and we are changed forever.  It can be the death of a loved one, the loss of a job, a divorce, the birth of a child…It seems like we constantly come across things that challenge our very existence as human beings.

Yet, isn’t that what life is made of?  Isn’t life made up of the birth of children, the graduation from college, the marriages, the divorces, loss of jobs, and finally death?  Why, then, are we so unable to deal with life?  Or is it that some events affect us more than others, and knock us over the head like a two-by-four?

I deduce that it is the latter.  I believe that sometimes an event affects us so deeply that it becomes a Game Changer in our life.  Game Changer is defined as: an event, idea, or procedure that effects a significant shift in the current way of doing or thinking about something.  Say that three times fast!  Sometimes, I believe that Game Changers don’t even have to be huge.  It can just be the realization that you do not want to do things the same way anymore.  So, how does one get past the Game Changer life event?  I believe that there are many ways, and I’ll touch on a few of them here:

  • Stop, Drop & Roll:  Analyzation can be the first step in getting past the Game Changer event.  What brought you to this place in time?  Was it preventable?  What can you learn from the event?  What are the steps that you now wish to take now to remedy this situation?  Having a plan can often be half the battle won.
  • Gratitude:  Holla!  I know when I am grumpy, what to trace it back to…un*grate*ful*ness!  It seems like such a small thing, but gratitude can bring about a huge change in a person’s life.  I have been journaling for most of my adult life in one form or another.  I have been solidly gratitude journaling for about 5 years.  When I am not grateful, I become critical of my life, as well as other people. I also become lethargic, and I lose my joy.  There are many different ways to do gratitude journaling, but that is not the jist of my writing today.  The idea is to write!  Being grateful for three things each day will start to shift your negative head space.  You may not believe it, but it is very true.  Try it before you go about your day, or if you are morning-challenged like myself, use a few minutes before bed to get your gratitude fix.  Before long, you’ll find things to be grateful for besides your family, food and shelter!  😉
  • Share The Load:  there are people somewhere who have been through what you have.  I am a consummate stuffer.  I keep my feelings to myself, don’t like to talk about my problems, and I’ve grown up with the mantra of “people don’t have to know yer business” ringing in my head.  Although some things need to be kept private (or shared only with trusted close friends), sharing some of the things that you are going through helps lighten the load.  If it is a serious Game Changer, you may wish to reach out to a counselor.  Emotional health is end goal. The best people that I have ever reached out to are coaches (not just because I am one).  When I work with a coach, the accountability factor helps me move forward past the event, and on to accomplishing my goals in record time.  Consider getting a Coach to help you, and if it’s not possible, reach out to an accountability partner or group.
  •  Pursue Passion!  Often, just the event alone will open ones’ eyes up to the fact that you were just going through the motions…doing the same-old same-old, living numb.  Why go to a job if you are not passionate about it, or do anything if we are not putting our all into it?  When given a chance to examine our life, we realize that we have let much of our life slip away without embracing it, without doing what we really wanted, without Living a Legacy or being Passionate.

This is precisely what happened to me, except, I had a series of Game Changers (lucky me!).  I had things that I went through that opened my eyes to the fact that half of my life had passed, and I had not embraced it.  I had not done many of the things on my bucket list.  To top things off, I certainly wasn’t living Passionately, much less Living a Legacy (see previous blog posts).

My Game Changers showed me that a change had to be made.  I decided that life was to be embraced!  I chose to have only good days.  I enjoyed people, food, nature, events~whatever came my way, I found a way to get the good out of it.  Yes, even a car accident!  I started connecting with people through hugs (and became known for them), and mindfully getting past superficial chit-chat to finding out what was their bliss.  Along the way, I researched what made me tick, what made my heart sing, how I wanted to give back to my community, and what I wanted my Legacy to look like.  I discovered that forgiveness is a huge factor in happiness, and I wrote a manual to help my Coaching clients work through their own forgiveness issues.  Over the course of 4 years, I created a program that I now call Passion Posse, and started embarking on my Preferred Passion Path~the final piece of living Passionately.

And it’s a Game Changer!  To show some of the steps that I took to get on the Passion Path, ladies (guys can join, but I am focusing on lady problems!), I invite you to join me on December 11th, 2013, as I present a webinar called:  Dumping the Numb:  7 Steps to a More Passionate Life.  Who is this webinar for?  It’s for the professional woman, either in business or an entrepreneur.  Maybe you have been superwoman for a long time.  Perhaps you have a family, maybe you are single…either way, the passion has gone out of your life.  These 7 Steps will help give you some tools to help put some pep back in your step.

I am releasing details about this webinar today because it is December 6th, a very significant day here in Canada.  I am a survivor of Domestic Abuse.  I want to honour the fallen women from Montreal who died senselessly so many years ago on this date.  I will also be revealing a partnership with three organizations connected to DV~December 6 Fund, hEr VOLUTION and World Vision~ but you’ll have to get on the training call to know the details!

You can register for the webinar here.  If you miss it, you can get it on replay, but you have to be registered to get the replay.

Remember:  Pursue Your Passion & Live a Legacy

Stephanie

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7 Reasons Why I Love the 4th of July

While most people celebrate the 4th of July for America’s Independence, I celebrate it for entirely different reasons. A few significant things happened to me on this day. I am very grateful because these things affect many other aspects of my life. Here’s why the 4th of July means so much to me. To be fair, America did make the list! 😉

1. America, & The World’s Longest Unmanned Border
I am grateful that I live beside/above the United States of America. I love that we can take day-trips to Buffalo to shop (from the Tdot). I love that we can be Snow Birds to Florida, Arizona or any other warm winter spot. I love that we share so much history with you (although some were through wars! LOL) We do have the world’s longest unmanned border. It means that there is no military at any of our border crossings. To bring it home, no one with a gun is standing guard at the Peace or Rainbow Bridges. That is a great feat. We should be very proud!

2. New Lease on Life #1
My New Life began four years ago today. After strategizing for 156 Days, I finally left a 23-year, verbally abusive marriage. Has it been easy? No! Will I go back? Not a chance! I thoroughly enjoy my new life, challenges and all. I am now an advocate for Domestic Violence. I’m very, very happy that I left when I did. Wished I did it sooner. Grateful that I’ve been given a chance to redesign my future.

3. New Lease on Life #2
For those of you who don’t know it yet, “Children Learn What They Live”. I believe this so strongly that I have put the poem in one of my books, and it’s part of a talk that I give. My daughter followed my example. Thank God, she learned from my mistakes~and her own~ and is living free from abuse as well.

4. My Kids & My Grandson
My kids went through more than any little girls should. They saw their Mother crying A LOT! They stuck by me, giving me hugs and crying along side me on the bad days. I’m forever grateful for the times that we spent bonding in Sista 1’s room, and laughing over silliness. As a result of those times, we can make up the wildest stories about the most mundane events! I thank God for these beautiful young ladies.

When my Grandson was born, we women were determined that the “Little Man” would have a very centered start to his life. He essentially has 5 Mamas (his paternal grandmother has joined the fray). Manners are essential, and he loves to hug and love on people (after he’s checked you out). I’m thankful that his history does not determine his future!

5. New Lease on Life #3
I am very, very grateful that the doctors figured out that I had a Small Bowel Obstruction on July 3rd, 2012, and not on July 4th, 2012. See, if they didn’t do the surgery a year ago today, I wouldn’t be making this blog. It’s only after I recuperated, that I realized the severity of SBO. I am grateful to the doctor who wouldn’t let me leave the hospital when I was tired of waiting~yes, I actually wanted to go home, even though I had not eaten in 3 days. I am really happy to be alive!

6. Free Healthcare: T&T, Canada
So, free Healthcare has been a debate for many countries. I am so thankful that I didn’t have to worry. If my SBO surgery was required in Canada, the Healthcare is free. It so happened that I had the surgery in Trinidad. I’m a native…it was FREE. There are two eerie things that happened with this, though. First, the day before I left on my trip, I was asked if I wanted travel insurance. I refused saying, “I’m not going to Trinidad to get sick!” H’mm, interesting. The second is that I had a stop-over in Miami. Had I gotten ill in Miami, it would have been a whole different story. I’m VErY grateful for free Healthcare!

7. Freedom, Plain & Simple
I can worship my God, sing, dance, or not. I can walk the streets freely. I can go to school~or not. I can wear booty shorts~NOT! The list can go on and on. There is NOTHING quite like living in a FREE country. NOTHING. It’s only when you go to a country that’s restrictive that you can really appreciate it. I’m not American. We Canadians celebrated our Independence Day on July 1st. Yet, I am very aware that we both are very, very grateful for our freedom.

Last week, I discovered my “WHY”. I knew it in my belly, but I got my AHA moment then. Here it is: “I have almost lost something precious to me (my life). I am on a mission (compelled) to tell people that they cannot go through life numb!” Find your passion and pursue it! Live your Legacy!

A different post, for a special day! God Bless Us, Every One!

May Your Cup Always Be Full,

Stephanie, Emerging Princess

Choices: Victim vs. Responsible

This is a hard blog to write, and I’m gonna do it anyways.

Twenty-seven years ago this month, I moved out on my own.  I didn’t like the guidelines that my parents had in place.  They were too strict, to old-fashioned.  I wanted to do my own thing; make my own rules; go my own way.  I was almost 21.

When I did that, I walked away from my faith as I knew it, and my family.  By that summer, I was pregnant with my first child, living far away from my hometown and my family.  Although I was alone and pregnant, I WAS IN CHARGE!!

As time progressed, I decided to marry my baby’s father, despite the fact that he displayed a bad temper.  My parents tried to dissuade me from marrying him, saying that it wasn’t going to last.  At the time, I thought that it was because they believed he wasn’t “good enough”.  I wanted to have a complete family.  I was gonna prove them wrong!

My parents were right!  I stayed in a marriage, that turned out to be verbally abusive, for 23 years.  I left three times, trying to find peace during a very bad situation.  The last time I left, it was for good.

This past week, I have been repeatedly listening to a CD called “Victim vs. Responsible” by the late Brian Klemmer.  I thought back to the many times that I wanted to blame people for the choices that I made to create my reality.  Often, I defended m passive stand in situations, rather than standing up and moving in my power.  So much wasted time!

663

We go through life not realizing the impact of the word CHOICE.  The choices we make today may impact this afternoon, our week, a year, or a lifetime.  I CHOSE to think that I knew better than my parents~they were right!  I CHOSE to have unprotected sex~I had a baby as a result.  I CHOSE to marry a man with a temper, despite the signs~he didn’t disappoint, and abused me verbally.  I CHOSE to go back to him twice~I received more of the same.  I CHOSE not to go back~I now live free!

I’m not negating the fact that I was a “victim of abuse”.  I am saying that I am now whole and can own that I had a part in.  I chose to give my power away.  (When you are in an abusive situation as a victim, you do not see the word CHOICE in the same light.)

Now, I actively choose, instead of playing the victim.  I choose to only have good days.  I choose to live peacefully.  I choose to let go, so that I can receive.  I choose to forgive so that I can thrive.  I choose to be grateful each and every day.  I choose to have a joyful heart.  I choose to smile.  I choose to help people reach their destiny.  I choose to hug, and get close to people~even though that means that I may occasionally get sick.  Because, I also choose to leave a legacy of being a giver and someone who cares.  So that means that I also choose to love people, even if it means I’ll get hurt.

Are you happy with the choices you are making?  Will they create a legacy that you can be proud of?  Are you a victim, or are you responsible?

May Your Cup Always Be Full,

Stephanie, Emerging Princess

www.createdtoexcel.ca

Excuse Me…Part 2

Excuses are the things that we keep telling ourselves as to why we don’t do something. In the previous post, I talked about FEAR. One of the underlying reasons why we don’t act, is summed up the word excuses.

Excuses are lies, plain and simple. We may blame somebody, something or ourselves, but they are lies. I’ll give you an example:

I have an issue with time. I have been late many times in my life. Sometimes it is only a few minutes. However, for family functions, it could be as much as an hour. For appointments, I could use the excuse that: 1. The subway had a delay, or 2. There was a traffic jam. For the family function, I could inform them that they wanted me to bake bread, after all. It takes 3 hours to make bread, and 1 hour to make no-bake cheesecake! Riiiight. Well, since I brought these topics up, let’s find the holes in my excuses, cleverly disguised as “reasons”.

When I am late for an appointment, do I leave with extra time, or do I time it to get there without a hitch? I leave time for the “without a hitch” scenario, of course! Why would I want to sit in a reception area for an indefinite amount of time? To make a good impression? Yeah, I frequently am running out the door to catch a bus, or sitting in traffic wondering why there are so many people on the road.  Upon arrival at my destination, I find myself running to the appointment to get there with 1 minute to spare. Sweaty face and palms…Good impression!

Now to the baking of the bread thing: Baking bread does take time. However, it is also very methodical. The great thing about bread is, even if it was baked that morning or the night before, it will probably still taste quite fresh. Shot down, yet again!

The truth of the matter is that I never budget enough time. Before recent events, I never gave allowances for getting to appointments on time. My previous coach said that I actually wanted to be EARLY. Yeah. Early has a nice ring to it.

In my blogs, I have often referred back to my healing process. While recovering from my relationship, I was also studying Neuro-Linguistic Programming. One of the presuppositions of NLP is that there is always a payoff for every action. For me, I believe that I hate wasting time. Sitting and doing nothing (although I never, ever do that), seems like such a waste, in my eyes. I feel like I have control when I get to an appointment “just in time“. Am I giving up control by being early? Hardly.

What excuses are you telling yourself for your actions? Things like, “We’ve always done it like this”; “I don’t know how”; “It’s too hard”; and “What will people say?” are all excuses. We may call them reasons, but given a few simple questions, I’m sure you can also poke holes through each of the above comments, too!

Whether it’s change or something familiar done in a different way, trying something new is inevitable in this life. We might as well ditch the excuses and learn to stretch and grow in your new life. The alternative is familiarity and conformity. You know what they say about familiarity… 🙂

May Your Cup Always Be Full,

Emerging Princess

Excuse Me…

Excuses are the #1 killer of dreams. Most people don’t know that excuses form as a result of a hidden fear of something that we don’t want to address. So, we can say that fear is the number one killer of dreams. As humans, we can come up with incredibly fruitful ideas that may turn out to be very lucrative, or even make it so that we don’t have to ever work again. I’m sure you have had one, “you know what would be cool?” idea. Why don’t we act on them?

The answer is FEAR. I know from experience, I was very scared to try anything new after starting my new life. I had already failed at marriage…I apparently sucked at picking a mate. Adventure? Risk? No way!

I volunteer with an elementary school in my city. I love the age group that I work with~the grade 4s. At this age, the kids are still somewhat free and easy, but they are also coachable. What I learned from them, and still continue to learn, is that some parents start teaching their children to be fearful, based on their own experiences. Then there are the ones whose parents teach them that the world is their oyster, open it up and claim their pearl! This behaviour is evident, especially when going on special trips, such as the swimming pool.

On a trip to the pool one day, the kids were assessed on their ability to swim a short distance. We had everything from the tip-toers to the dolphins, making their way across the pool. The dolphins inspired me! They dove from the deep end, and swam as if they were one with the water. I was buoyed to let go of my fear of the water, and get back in the pool. (I had not worn a bathing suit in over 25 years!) Igad, that would mean I had to buy a bathing suit. Ugh! Have you SEEN my thighs? After finding an appropriate suit, I had to get back into the water.

Ironically, around the same time, a fellow business classmate asked if I would like to go sailing. I should clarify that~would I like to MAN a sail? After agreeing, I promptly forgot about it, until the day of the event. By then, it was too late to back down, and my kids reminded me of that fact that I was afraid of the water. “Too late”, I said, as I headed to the pier.

I took one look at the sailboat and the open lake, and decided that I was done with it. What a blast! I got into the boat and at times was soaked when the boat tipped at a 45° angle to the lake. Enjoying myself was not something that I originally anticipated. But it was my choice. I said I would help. I needed to pull my weight. If I was gonna sail, though, I might as well have fun doing it!

From that day, it was easy to get into the pool. I have not learned to swim yet, but I am no longer fearful of the water. Ironically, while at the pool with the schoolkids, there were some acronyms for fear posted on the bulletin board. Most people know the original one:

False

Evidence

Appearing

Real

I also learned this one:

Finding

Excuses

And

Reasons

But the one I said “ouch” to was:

Failure

Expected

And

Received

Can you say, “Anbesol“? I had so many reasons why I didn’t go into a pool. It was bad for my hair and my skin. (Hello, there are salt water pools!) I couldn’t find an appealing bathing suit. My thighs are too large! I could go on and on. But, when I let go of those excuses and reasons, I was able to do something outside of my comfort zone, AND enjoy myself. The surprise was that I didn’t fail at it. I wasn’t a pro at swimming or sailing, but I wasn’t a failure at it, either.

Susan Jeffers says, “Feel The Fear And Do It Anyways.” Feeling fear is a natural part of our existence. Being paralyzed by it impedes our growth. Why don’t we find another acronym for fear? How about:

Fantastic

Expectations

Always

Rewarded

May Your Cup Always Be Full,

Emerging Princess

I Love the Good Ol’ Days

Do you know someone who loves “The Good Ol’ Days”? You know them…the “reminiscers”. They are always talking in terms of “remember when”? They are usually daydreaming about a time that was better than “now”. Maybe that person is you? Perhaps you have recently started mending from an emotional set-back, like I blogged about previously.

When you are going through emotional turmoil, it is natural to be very conscious of your past. Perhaps a former partner was part of the turmoil. Perhaps, it was someone else. Things were so good before, at the beginning. Why couldn’t your life be like it was then? You were the perfect couple. Or, you were best friends. Then things changed. There are all those things that they did to hurt you…All things that they should have done…All the negative moments…You think about them, play them over and over in your mind, and sometimes it seems like it happened only yesterday. If only….

For you, the past is comfortable. It is something that you are familiar with, even if it was not something worth remembering. You kinda like remembering how badly this person treated you. It fuels your right to be angry with them~to hold that grudge. It fuels your right to think of them as a cad for ruining a perfectly good relationship.

My question to you is this: Is it worth it? Holding onto the past just pulls you away from moving forward. It draws you away from your goals, dreams and aspirations. You put your energies into something that may not bring you any rewards. Actually, I can almost guarantee that you won’t be rewarded by dwelling on your past. You should certainly learn from it, though!

Sure, the future is unknown. Sure, there will be challenges. Yes, there will be days that you may not want to get out of bed because you are scared whitless by some of the daunting tasks ahead of you. But remember, life’s a journey, not a destination. Small steps taken over time will eventually achieve big results.

Shake the shackles. Your future is waiting!

 May Your Cup Always Be Full,

Emerging Princess

I’ll Take 2 Advil and a Fetal Position, Please

 When we have a headache, or even sore muscles, taking 2 Advil is an acceptable thing to do. Have you ever been hurt so badly, you want to take 2 Advil, curl up into a ball and suck your thumb? There are many sayings about human suffering…the world would be perfect, except for humans! While pain is an inevitable part of our existence, coping with pain is not something that we all do well.

When I coach people, the first thing that I suggest to my clients is for them address their perspective on pain. This is something that is really helped by journaling time. Each night before going to bed, write your feelings. Write what you are angry about, what you can find that is good, just write. Don’t correct grammar or spelling. Be completely transparent. After two weeks of journalling, take a look at your journal entries. How is your pain showing through? There may entries about the person that caused you the pain like, “John was so unreasonable again today. He wouldn’t come to an amicable settlement for the kids.” When you read the entries, are things always being done to you?

When I first left my former partner, I stayed in that mode for a while. “He did this”, or “He won’t agree to that”. Playing the victim was so easy. I got pity from the world as a victim. My favourite saying to people in recovery is this, “Being a victim can get you many things for free, but it won’t give you your freedom”.

I now ask you, can you make some choices to change the outcomes that you get? If you look at your pain in a different light, can you see that it can be a catalyst for change in your life? Your pain can be used to help other people through the same thing that you went through.

Remember, you cannot have a triumph without a trial. As you journal, try to look for positive ways to look at your pain. It can help take away some of the sting. Dr. Wayne Dyer says, “Change the way you look at things, and the things you look at change.” Advil doesn’t have to be your best friend!

May Your Cup Always Be Full,

Emerging Princess

There’s a Label for That…

She’s a bit strange. He’s a hustler. I’m having a bad hair day. She’s divorced.  He’s got a disability.

Tags, or labels, as a society, we live with them. There are some labels that I love to wear~adventurous (a new one for me), loyal and sympathetic are a few. Being a divorcee was a label that I didn’t want to wear. How often do we put a label on things that we do not understand? Or things that we have a previous experience with, be it negative or positive?

Labels can hold us back from having a meaningful or enjoyable experience. Have you ever been invited to a party, and figured that you were not going to have a good time based on the host, or even the location? Do you believe cannot achieve something based on your experience or training? Have you labeled yourself as being an underachiever, or even unlucky? (By the previous statement, I am not saying that you can be doctor or lawyer without finishing the necessary training.)

Many labels are not flattering. They may have been given to us as far back as childhood. Living up to them, or shaking them can cause us undue stress and negativity. These tags may not have been given to us by someone who even knew us well, or had our best interests at heart. They may have been jealous, or spiteful when they labeled us. And yet, we will go through our lives living in the box that these people have built for us.

We only get one go at this life. Second chances sometimes come our way, but we don’t have to wait for those. We an take the hand that we are dealt now, and look at life through our eyes, not someone else’s.

A lot of the things that I blog about are not easy. However, looking at life through your own eyes, ensures that you can take the credit for your actions. And, wouldn’t it be great to have that smug assurance that you were called an underachiever, but became a philanthropist and a millionaire?

Philanthropist. Millionaire. I’ll take that label!

May Your Cup Always Be Full,

Emerging Princess

Maybe Soppy, But It’s Still Touching…

One of my friends posted this video link.  It brings me to tears because I posted yesterday about giving.  I hope you enjoy it.  It’s a bit long for our microwave world…but then again, I don’t use a microwave~or a TV for that matter!  🙂

May Your Cup Always Be Full,

Emerging Princess

 

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Water For The Journey

Book Release PartyOctober 25th, 2013
The long-awaited release of Water For The Journey: 156 Days To Freedom. All day givaways and book release party!
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