10 Things I Learned About Business From Failed Romances

I’ve had a few failed romances over my lifetime.  I’ve been burned, badly, by a few of them.  Here are 10 things that I have learned, and how they apply to a business.  These views are mine!

1.  If You Don’t Treat Your Business Like Gold, No One Else Will.  Find the best products—that you can afford—to aid your business.  We all start somewhere, but using crappy methods will cause you to have to do things over.  And, as the saying goes, “If you don’t have the time to do things well the first time, when will you have the time to do it over?”

Likewise, if you don’t love and treat yourself like GOLD, people will treat you like aluminum foil, crumple you up, and throw you out for recycling.  You have to stand firm for what’s important to you.  Realize that you are Tiffany quality, and let the dollar-store people go!

2.  Be Proud Of What You Do.  Shout it from the rooftops.  Use Social Media.  Tell the world  about what you are bringing to the marketplace.   You’ve put a lot of blood, sweat and tears into this endeavour.  Make sure it showcases well.  (I do understand that you may not want people to know about an initial planning stage due to dream-stealers.  Yet, this does not mean that you are not proud of the business you are embarking on.)

Your romantic relationship should also make you proud.  When you love a great guy or gal, you want the world to know that this is your special person.  Secrets breed mistrust, and show that you may not be fully committed.  In the end, secrets will come to light…when you least expect it!

3.  Make Your Business A Priority.  Be Passionate about your business.  Put your heart and soul into it.  If you put part-time effort into it, you will get part-time results.  Your business should be a priority in your life.  When you put things before your bottom line—like browsing the internet, cleaning the office, or procrastinating on tasks that will help propel your business forward—you will suffer financially.  I know.  I’ve been there!

When you are in a serious relationship, your special person becomes a priority in your life.  If you are not passionate about seeing your mate, spending time with them, or making them a priority, you will lose them.  The question then is, “Why are you even in the relationship?”  Eventually, they will even come before your kids (if you have any).  I believe however, it should be after God (or whoever is your Higher Power).  God first, then relationship, business/kids/family (you sort out that order).  Points 1-3 seem like they are the same thing, but they are not.  They work hand-in-hand.

4.  Your Values Matter.  If you want to have weekends off, don’t start off working on weekends, unless you know for sure it’s only for a season.  Bending the rules, “just this once”, can lead to a myriad of chain reactions that you may regret.  It’s too hard to backtrack once you have bent the rules.

Don’t compromise your values for love.  When you compromise your values, you will be out of alignment with your moral compass, core and driving needs.  You will become unhappy.  It’s just a matter of time.  If you don’t stand for something, you will fall for anything!

5.  Reward Yourself.  When you have accomplished some milestone, give yourself a gift.  I mean really get into, and FEEL joy of receiving the gift—even if it’s something small when you start out.  This action will help you remember the positive vibes of accomplishing the goal.  You will want to recreate that feeling—and accomplish more goals.  One success begets another.

Reward your partner for kind deeds.  When they do something nice for you, tell them so.  If you see something that they like and you can purchase it, do so.  Who doesn’t love an unexpected gift?  (Again, I stress that you HAVE the finances to purchase it!)  I have yet to see someone who is unhappy to be spoiled and doted on (I didn’t say smothered!)  We love to be rewarded.  Nuff said!

Courtesy Free Digital Downloads

Courtesy Free Digital Downloads

6.  Honesty Is The Best Policy.  No one likes a crooked business(wo)man.  Keep everything above-board, and you will have less to try to hide at tax time.

Honesty is the best policy in relationships as well.  No one likes a cheater and a liar.  And if it’s you, stop!

7.  Get the Family Involved.  In both business and your relationship, when you are getting started, you may need to enlist the help of your family.  If your family is not on side with your business, they will sabotage your efforts.  It may not be openly.  If you are spending long hours working your business, or if you have moved into another income bracket, resentments may also arise.  How dare you leave them behind?  If you need to spend a season on a project, and it will affect your significant other, or your family, make sure they know beforehand.  Arrange a reward for the completion of the project.  Save face before you have to kiss feet.

8.  Get Help.  It sucks to do business alone!  It’s lonely, and you end up living in a vacuum.  Reach out to others in your same field through associations, or Linkedin/FB Groups.  Coaching is THE best way to catapult your business forward.  The accountability has a way of getting your butt in gear!

Before you need help with your relationship, I think it’s helpful to connect with other successful couples.  Conversely, reading about how the opposite sex operates is also helpful.  I have been reading about successful relationships for a while.  Each bit of information gives more insight as to how relationships work.  And I’ll never “arrive”.  That knowledge alone keeps me wanting to learn more.

9.  Give Back.  You started somewhere, and it probably wasn’t at the top.  Before your business is even at the million-dollar mark, start giving a little here and there.  It can be time or finances, but there is never an over-abundance of volunteers.  I have yet to see an organization say, “Please don’t help us”.  What is your pet charity?  How can you help them now?

I believe that volunteering couples help keep selfishness at bay.  Volunteering can strengthen a relationship, and bring a couple closer together.  (Providing there are no hidden agendas.)  Emotional experiences strengthen bonds, and leave a lasting impression on our lives.

10.  It Won’t Be Easy, But It Will Be Worth It.  Anything worth having is worth fighting for, in business, and in love.  If you believe in the business, (or the person you love), you are in integrity, and it is worth fighting for…FIGHT!  We humans—myself included—give up way too easily!  Fight for what you love!

I learned these things the hard way.  My hope is that you glean some nuggets of truth from these points.

Pursue Your Passions & Live A Legacy!

Stephanie, Emerging Princess

www.createdtoexcel.ca

Oh Canada!

Today is my adopted country’s birthday.  It’s only fitting that I celebrate some of the great gifts that fellow “Canadians” gave the world.  Sorry for bragging…

I am Canadian, Eh?

May Your Cup Always Be Full,

Stephanie, Emerging Princess

4am Rant

Ugh!  Ok, so sometimes God wakes me up at “ungodly” hours and talks…I have no choice but to listen, or I’ll never get back to sleep!  This is for someone out there.  Please pass on if you feel the need to.  I’ll warn you, today’s blog is more like a rant!

ID-10089637So often, we believe our sunglasses that we happen to be wearing.  Our sunglasses are the paradigms through which we see our world (Brian Klemmer).  Some sunglasses are given to us at birth~like our ethnicity~others are things or thought patterns that we pick up and keep telling ourselves.  These sunglasses often are not true, and they can be so damaging to our life’s progress.  Things like:

~I am not strong enough

~This is how I am/ I was born this way

~I’m not blessed with a beautiful body like you are

~I’ll never get out of debt

~I’m not smart like you

~My whole family is like this

~I can’t do that

~I’m not pretty/handsome enough

Who told you?

These are all sunglasses (of negativity) that we allow to dictate our lives.  One day (hopefully), we wake up to find that these sunglasses are a hindrance to us.  We inspect our lives, and discover that there were the “woulda”, “coulda” and “shouldas” that stared us in the eye…missed opportunities that, if we had stepped out of our narrow view of our life, “woulda”, “shoulda” and “coulda” been so amazing!  If others have accomplished great things, surely we can too!

[By the way, these paradigms can be~ and often are~well-meaning loved ones who don’t want to see us get hurt.  They sometimes give us “wise council” that reflects the world through their sunglasses.  We are then held back when we try to please them, and heed their well-meaning advice.]

Are you ready to take off your sunglasses?

Are you ready to prove the naysayers wrong?

Are you ready to live a life bigger than you’ve ever imagined?

Isn’t it about time?

May Your Cup Always Be Full,

Stephanie, Emerging Princess

Itsy Bitsy Teenie Weenie Yellow Polka-Dot Bikini

It’s Theological Thursday.  As is the custom, here is a post from a Christian point of view.  Enjoy!

I remember the day as if it was yesterday.  I was warned, but nothing prepared me for what I saw that day.

A few days before, I lay on a hospital bed in the emergency ward, preparing for surgery.  I had developed a condition, a Small Bowel Obstruction, which required emergency surgery.  The doctor explained what he was going to do, and where they were going to cut.  I looked at the Doctor, mortified.

Surgery

Surgery (Photo credit: Army Medicine)

“Can’t you cut across my belly, below my belly-button?” I asked.

“No, that’s not possible,” the gentle Doctor quietly responded.

Well, when they got to the surgical floor, I prayed that the situation would change.  My procedure was successful (or I wouldn’t be writing this blog! 😉  ).  A day later, a nurse came to change my dressing.  Most of my stomach area had gauze or surgical tape.  I eagerly awaited the revelation of where my actual scars were.  As the nurse worked and explained what she was doing, I peeked.  I would eventually be doing her job when I was released.  As the gauze was taken off, I gasped.  I had been cut from my sternum, past my belly-button, all the way down to—well I couldn’t tell.  I couldn’t see that far!  My hopes of a low-lying scar were dashed against a rock, and broken into a million pieces!

“Who would want a scarred body like this?” I thought.  Turning to the nurse, I said,

“Oooh gosh, look at dat!”

“Girl, yuh had may-jah belly sur-dree”, she replied.

Not only was the surgery a surprise, I was also in a foreign country.  I was in the second week of a vacation to my birthplace, Trinidad.  It didn’t take me long to revert to being a “Trini” again—embracing the slower pace of life, and the sing-song method of speaking.

A few days later, I was released from the hospital.  During the next couple of weeks, I had some major fights with God about my scar.  It was a bone of contention during many of my prayer sessions.  I believe that it even started sowing the seed of ingratitude in my heart.  I was upset that now, I couldn’t wear an “Itsy Bitsy Teeny Weenie” bikini of any colour.

One day, I came to my senses and thought,

“Hold up!  This is ridiculous!  You have borne three children.  Your belly has been stretched to the maximum.  You have all the rivers of the world etched into your belly as proof!  There’s no way under the sun, that you’ll even ever go out in public in a bikini!”

That was a huge turning point for me.  Perhaps being angry at the scar was a way of taking my mind off the seriousness of the surgery.  Either way, I was finally able to thank the Lover Of My Soul for creating my body to be the wonderful machine that it was.  I was grateful that I was able to bear three wonderful children and nourish them.  I had strong legs, hands that worked, and a sound mind.

I looked back at the events surrounding my surgery, and they had God’s hand written all over them.  My room-mates were all Christians.  Visitors provided prayer coverage, and worship music was constantly playing.  I was surrounded by relatives who loved and cared for me.  This included a prayer-warrior aunt, who mustered up the support from my childhood church.  I had the surgery in a fabulous teaching hospital, with the head registrar leading my team of doctors.  I was able to have the surgery for free, as I was born there.  And when I was released into the care of my relatives, I didn’t have to lift a finger.  My laundry was done for me, my food prepared…that would not have been the case had I been in my own house.  This is the first time in my life that I was truly pampered.  Fussing over an “Itsy Bitsy Teeny Weenie Yellow Polka-Dot Bikini” seemed so puerile.

Recovery was a challenge, I won’t lie.  This surgery really changed my life.  Each day I’m thankful for my health.  I look at my “bikini” line”, and I’m well-aware that God saved me from the jaws of death.  The Lover Of My Soul has a great plan for my life.  I will reap my heavenly rewards, after I shake off this broken-temporal body.

What life-changing (near-death?) experience have you survived?  Please share…

May Your Cup Always Be Full,

Stephanie, Emerging Princess

 

 

Wacky Wednesday I

As I’m watching The Hobbit  (a bit at a time), I thought I’d resurrect this Wacky Wednesday post.

photo-17

 

Pursue Your Passions & Live Your Legacy,

Stephanie, Emerging Princess

I Choose

Choices

 I woke up early today, excited about all I get to do before the clock strikes midnight.

I have responsibilities to fulfill today. My job is to choose what kind of day I’m going to have.

I can complain because the weather is rainy, or I can be thankful that the grass is getting watered for free.

Today I can cry because roses have thorns, or I can celebrate that thorns have roses.

Today I can whine because I have a job, or I can shout for joy because I have a job to do!

Today I can feel sad that I don’t have more money, or be glad that my finances encourage me to plan my purchases wisely, and to guide me away from waste.

Today I can grumble about my health, or I can rejoice that I am alive.

Today I can lament over all my parents didn’t give me when I was a child, or I can be grateful that they allowed me to be born.

Today I can complain because I have to go to school, or I can eagerly open my mind and fill it with new tibits of knowledge.

Today, I can murmur dejectedly that I have to do housework, or I can feel honoured because the Lord has provided shelter for my mind and body and soul.

Today stretches ahead of me, waiting to be shaped. And here I am, the sculptor who gets to do the shaping.

What today will be like is up to me.

I get to choose what kind of day I will have.

So, have a great day~unless you have other plans!

~Author Unknown

 May Your Cup Always Be Full!

Stephanie, Emerging Princess

Find Your Someone

Wouldn’t This Be Great?

156 Days To Freedom

Today starts the countdown to my book:  Water for the Journey: 156 Days to Freedom

This has been a longer-than-anticipated trip.  When I started writing the book, 2 years ago at about this time, I thought that my book would have been published by that fall (2010).  I submitted it to a publisher, was accepted, and was faced with two huge challenges:  1.  publishers keep 90% or more of book proceeds, and 2. they refused to publish my book in colour.  My book, my baby, needed to be printed in colour.  I had water imagery from all over the world in it.  Black and white just didn’t cut it.  I turned down the publisher and decided to self-publish.  (As time went on, I realized that getting a publisher to say YES was a huge accomplishment.  Call me naive!)

Self-publshing takes a great deal of money.  So my book sat for the better part of 18 months, waiting for the right moment.  Then, in November, it started to crawl.  I set the wheels in motion again, thinking that it would be possible to get it out by May.  As I work better under pressure, I even rewrote the main storyline in less than a month.  However, when we got into February, it became apparent that May was not the time, either.  It  was heartbreaking when I came to the realization that I had to put the book off again.  This time, the difference is that I now have much more in place than I did last November.

The storyline is a difficult one.  Anyone that knows me, knows that I deal with Violence Against Women.  This book takes that one step farther, as the heroine is going through her abuse while living as a Christian.  Will I get flack for that?  I hope so.  The problem of abuse in the church is huge, and I have no qualms about talking about it.  What I hope the most, though, is that I can help one woman who is suffering in an abusive relationship right now.  If I help one woman, then my work on earth is complete.  All others are icing on the cake.

At present, I am working on getting sponsorships for the book.  It is a unique concept, especially in the Christian community.  Advertisers who align with the theme of the book, will have the opportunity to sponsor a chapter.  When I go to events to speak, I will also promote my sponsors.  When you consider that a book lasts a lot longer than a print or TV ad, it can be a very inexpensive method of advertising.  The clincher is getting sponsors to “bite”!

I will be updating my page and blog regularly with the status of the book.  I know that my book’s graphic designer, Hensher Creative, is longing to get this project done.  (I think that the cover is fantastic, but maybe I’m biased!)  Closer to the book release date, I’ll be having contests to build momentum.  The day of the book release, I will also have a contests to build momentum.  I intend on having a bestseller!

Please “Like” my page so that I can get up in ranking!  This should be a stellar summer!

My book release date is September 14th, 2012, exactly 156 days from today!

May Your Cup Always Be Full,

Emerging Princess

Celebration!

It is human nature to minimize things.  I know that I, for one, don’t celebrate things that I accomplish.

I believe that when a person has left an abusive relationship (and/or if there was abuse when they were growing up), “bigging” themself up is a very hard thing to do.  For instance, if you left an abusive relationship, that’s huge.  You can celebrate the beginning of a life free from bondage.  If you have learned to forgive your former partner…that’s massive.  Most people never get to that place, and live their lives surrounded with bitterness.  Maybe you landed an amazing job, or started a new business.  Those are all things that should be celebrated.

So here’s the question:  Did you celebrate any of those successes?  Did you tell your friends the wonderful things that happened in your life?  Or did you minimize them as “just something ordinary” that happened in your day.

I am part of a mastermind group.  Once a week, I spend time with a few ladies from around the globe, and we work at making our lives match our dreams.  We are encouraged to gripe about something that is bugging us.  However, we have to also come up with a few things that are going well from the week.  As a matter of fact, this is something that we now have to do daily.

I am a speaker, writer and Recovery Coach.  As with any other start-up, there are all kinds of  challenges.  I often rant that things are not going as planned.  I’d like to make more money, have more speaking engagements, or write a bestseller.  There are so many things that I can harp about that are not going my way.  However, the daily exercise of finding daily successes  has opened my eyes to the things that are going well in my life.

Tomorrow, I will be doing my first television interview.  I will be a featured guest on the Liquid Lunch Show with Hugh Reilly on ThatChannel.com.  After the show, I will walk to the local mall and order a frozen yogourt.  Then I will sit and watch the shoppers go by.  It will be a simple thing, but it will be my celebration of one more success.

May your cup always be full,

Stephanie, Emerging Princess

To help you with the celebration: http://bit.ly/afSdAM

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Water For The Journey

Book Release PartyOctober 25th, 2013
The long-awaited release of Water For The Journey: 156 Days To Freedom. All day givaways and book release party!
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