Theological Thursday~Forgive & Thrive

It’s Thursday, and time for another post from a Christian point of view.  Hope you enjoy.  Please comment!

I was on my way…I started regaining my self-esteem.  Joy was becoming a part of my every day life.  Things were starting to look good.  Then, BAM!!  The blame game hit.

Have you ever played the blame game?  I believe we all have, at some time.  Growing up, we’d blame our brothers or sister(s) for taking a cookie from the jar, “He did it first”, after all.  And for many of us, it never stopped.

“If only she’d do this”, or “Why doesn’t he do that?”  Sound familiar?

Asking For Forgiveness

Asking For Forgiveness (Photo credit: hang_in_there)

That was precisely the position that I was in.  I was blaming my former partner for the predicament that I was in.  And in the process, I was carrying around a huge dose of unforgiveness.  This, I knew, could very well turn into bitterness.  And bitterness causes a host of dis-eases.

While grumbling about my situation one day, my eldest child looked at me and said,

“Mumsy, our father never did this while you were married, why would he start now that you have left?”   If you can’t say Amen, say Ouch!  That hurt~and it came from my own kid!

Yet, that’s just the message that The Lover of My Soul wanted me to hear.  I needed to Forgive in order to Thrive.  He cared about me so much more than a misguided former mate.  I needed to let go, and let God.  I had every right to hold on to the hurt.  I had every right to be upset about the state of my finances.  Yet, I did not have a right to hold on to it, and harp over it again and again.  I had no right to be God’s judge.  His word says,

“Do not take revenge, my friends”, Romans 12:19a.  I was also reminded that we are to forgive “70 x 7” times (some say 77).  [An aside here~I believe that one should forgive the sin.  If this sinner is preventing God’s plan for your life from being fulfilled, it may be prudent to remove yourself from the situation.  Just sayin’!]

As time went on, I realized that my Father loved me so much that, although money was a challenge, my family was never hungry.  We moved into a house and I didn’t have a job or references; people guided us to food banks; hampers and gift cards showed up at our door at Christmas.  Miracles were, and still are, a part of my everyday life.

Now, these things possibly could have happened without the forgiveness.  However, I don’t thing that we would have thrived.  I don’t think that we would have been as grateful.  I KNOW that I would not have been as grateful.  To be sure, a grateful heart is more receptive to gifts~big and small.  When a person has unforgiveness in their heart, they cannot be grateful at the same time.  They will accept gifts with an entitlement view.  I’ve seen this quite frequently.  After a person forgives, it’s like the flood-gates of Heaven open up.  The shackles around one’s heart, head and feet, break off.  I know that~speaking from experience~it’s really tricky to walk with shackles on my feet!

The Lover of My Soul was right.  I thrive more and more.  Forgiveness, then, was not for the perpetrator.  Forgiveness was, and is an act of love for my family, myself, and my future!


May Your Cup Always Be Full!

Stephanie, Emerging Princess


Tuesday Inspiration…

Speak Out!

May Your Cup Always Be Full,

Stephanie, Emerging Princess

You’re An All-Star

Mono portable Radio Tape Recorder from the Ger...

Mono portable Radio Tape Recorder from the German brand Universum (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

It’s Thursday…time for another “Theological” post from a Christian perspective.  Enjoy!

“I feel so ugly, so unloveable.”  The hot shower soothed my body, as the sobs wracked my form.  This was my hideaway; the only place that I could cry without my kids hearing me.

It was a few months after becoming single again.  Although I was enjoying my freedom, my mind was still held hostage.

“You’ll never succeed at that.”

“Why can’t you ever get things right?”

And on and on the tape recorder played. (A tape recorder is displayed on the right-hand side.) 🙂

“Father, please show me something tangible; something positive about myself that I can hold onto.”  God, in His ever-loving mercy, always hears us.  We just don’t always listen.  This time I did.

“Check your e-mails”, I heard.  Thinking back now, I am aware that He didn’t tell me to open my Bible to such and such a verse.  I needed human validation and compliments.

Reading positive e-mails were a significant key to helping me re-build my self-esteem.  I typed up some of the compliments that people had given me, laminated them and put them on my bathroom mirror.  At the time, I needed to see things like,

“You’re An All-Star”, or that I was a “wonderful friend”.

The mind renewal began, and I continued healing with a 12-Step Programme and NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Programming).  On days that were heavy, I went into my ceramic oasis, and I said the truths out loud.  Sometimes, many times, they were recited through tears.

The Lover of My Soul put people in my path to bless me, and pour positivity into my life.  As the days wore on, He showed me that I was lovable.  He loved me first~even before this world began.

Wow, what an AMAZING love that is!  How could I keep THAT to myself?  I decided to take the spotlight off myself and my problems by adding more volunteering to my daily activities.  (It is something that I urge my clients to do even now.)  It wasn’t the same love as when I was married, yet, I was still giving love away.  Put under a microscope, if you examine this love, it’s probably healthier, purer, and flowing from a heart of compassion.

I realized that the Lover Of My Soul desires that my heart remain soft, and not let bitterness creep in.  This way it is open to first being filled by HIM.  Yes, I AM An All-Star, because He says so!

Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is–His good, pleasing and perfect will.   ~Romans 12:2

May Your Cup Always Be Full,

Stephanie, Emerging Princess

My Dirty Little Secret

This is the first Theological Thursday post, written from a Christian viewpoint.

Can I tell you a secret?  I am a LOVE junkie!  I guess that means that I am a hopeless romantic.  I love holding hands as I walk on the beach with my special someone (I call him

English: Michael Buble walks the Red Carpet at...

English: Michael Buble walks the Red Carpet at the 2009 Junos in Vancouver, Canada (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

MiLove).  I love receiving flowers and chocolates.  I love listeniing to sappy Barry ManilowMichael Buble  or smooth jazz songs as I talk to him about our future.

Now can I make another confession?  I do not have an actual PHYSICAL person named MiLove that I do all of this with.  No, I do NOT have a blow-up toy, either!  I could say that it’s Jesus, but that would be so cliche.  Due to my faith, I’m SUPPOSED to love Him.  The brutal truth is, to many people, I am a love failure.  I’ve committed the ultimate love-sin.  I chose~dun, dun, dun~divorce.  Gasp!

Blasphemy!  How dare she write about love when she hasn’t even succeeded in that department?  May I suggest something else?  May I offer you the idea that there is no such thing as failure.  There is only feedback.  I learned this in my NLP training (and it is one of the main tenets).  Would you take financial advice only from someone who has been lucky financially?  Or would you also want to learn from someone who has gotten up again after losing it all?  I’d say that most people think Donald Trump is a financial success.  I now know what NOT to do in my next relationship.  Letting go of that guilt has been so freeing.  The Bible says that, “Though a RIGHTEOUS man (note that word) falls seven times, he rises again; but the wicked are brought down by calamity”,  Proverbs 24:16.

See, there were signs, many as big as a jumbotron, which warned me about my poor marriage choice.  I chose to ignore them, and I paid the price…I fell.  Does that mean that I should suffer indefinitely?  Some believe that you should fight tooth and nail for your man.  And I did, until I ran out of energy.  I believe, “He will not lead you, where He won’t keep you”, (Jackie Cherill).   I know that Christ died to forgive the sins of a murderer, and he also died to forgive a divorcee.  Sin is sin in God’s eyes.  He has also used me more in my three years of singleness than in the 23 years of my previous life.

So, although I could be jaded by my past, I am enjoying my present, and am anticipating my future.  My hopes and dreams still exist for finding the person that I can share the

Love ? I love love love you.

Love ? I love love love you. (Photo credit: @Doug88888)

romantic scenes that I described  previously.

I’m up for an adventure.  I will explore love~the way Christ wanted it to be.  If you’re looking to follow an unconventional love adventure, I invite you to come on my journey as I talk about Love, MiLove, and the Lover of My Soul.

May Your Cup Always Be Full,

Stephanie, Emerging Princess

Tighter than Cling Wrap

Are you “tight” with your things? How about your past? I had things down pat when I was living in my marriage. I had my life down to a turbulent science. Yes, my former partner was not the kindest person, but I knew where the mortgage money was coming from…and if I worked, I probaby knew where the grocery money was coming from as well. Things were bad, sometimes VERY BAD, but I had a family. A real life family. Forget the fact that we had a facade when we went out. We still were a family!  I was tight with my crazy life!

 I know say, “What a crock!”  I literally wasted 23 years of my life because I was attached to a false idea. An idea of a perfect family…an idea that I didn’t want to be divorced. An idea that my God wasn’t gracious. An idea that I couldn’t live without my former partner. Twenty-three years of crying into a pillow!  I repeat, “What a crock!”

 And then I was out! On my own in Toronto, with three semi-grown kids and a grandkid. (If you believe that your kids don’t pick up on your actions, I have stories for you!) What else could I be attached to? Oh yes, stuff! Even though I could part with many things, they were familiar to me, and comforted me in my new life. But, they were also a reminder of my past life and its negativity. These things could be used to help pay the rent, help fund tuition, pay for groceries…the list could go on. We may know that an object is not serving any real purpose in our lives, but we still hang on to it.  Why is that?

 For me, hanging on to my things was something that I started noticing was a problem. Soon after I left, I no longer owned a car or a house. All I had was my STUFF. Those were my possessions. They were all that I had. I couldn’t let them go! But I started to see how ridiculous that was, in light of the fact that I had two dining tables and one dining room. I had the dining table from my previous house, plus an antique one that I had gotten for a song. How dumb is that?

 After you leave a marriage, it is natural to want to hang on to things. You have lost so much. If the marriage was abusive, you lost a lot before you even left! Letting go of your attachment to things is a hard concept to grasp, but it is achievable. Letting go frees you to have other things come into your life. When you are hanging on to things, you are fearful that something will not replace it. You are operating from a place of lack. Detachment and release, however, function from abundance. You are saying, I am not afraid of letting this go because something else, and probably something even better, will take its place. Nature abhors a vacuum. If there is an empty space, it’s gonna get filled!

 I repeat, I am not saying that letting go is easy. It takes guts, and tremendous willpower. But I am learning each and every day, when I give~or let go~I get. Sometimes it is time, sometimes it’s things. Sometimes it’s a complete surprise of a generous gift. For instance, I have been volunteering for years with kids at a local school, never thinking anything of it. Recently, someone has decided to gift me her time to show me business tips. She is a seasoned businesswoman, so this is a fantastic opportunity. I let go of my time a few hours a week for the kids, and I believe that this is my reward. Giving financially to charities also brings similar rewards.  Nature must fill a vacuum.

 Are you tighter than Cling Wrap with your past, your time, your money, or your things? Let go! You will start to become more peaceful when you realize that there’s more than enough to go around. Besides, you cannot embrace something new with a clenched fist!

May Your Cup Always Be Full,

Emerging Princess

My Recent ShimmerZine Article

I am a featured writer for the April issue of ShimmerZine magazine.  This is my first article to appear in a magazine, so I can say that I am a “published” author now!  It is a Christian article, based on the interesting people that I encounter on the transit system in my city.  I hope you enjoy it.  Please click the link below:

May Your Cup Always Be Full,

Emerging Princess

My Tweets

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Water For The Journey

Book Release PartyOctober 25th, 2013
The long-awaited release of Water For The Journey: 156 Days To Freedom. All day givaways and book release party!
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