10 Things I Learned About Business From Failed Romances

I’ve had a few failed romances over my lifetime.  I’ve been burned, badly, by a few of them.  Here are 10 things that I have learned, and how they apply to a business.  These views are mine!

1.  If You Don’t Treat Your Business Like Gold, No One Else Will.  Find the best products—that you can afford—to aid your business.  We all start somewhere, but using crappy methods will cause you to have to do things over.  And, as the saying goes, “If you don’t have the time to do things well the first time, when will you have the time to do it over?”

Likewise, if you don’t love and treat yourself like GOLD, people will treat you like aluminum foil, crumple you up, and throw you out for recycling.  You have to stand firm for what’s important to you.  Realize that you are Tiffany quality, and let the dollar-store people go!

2.  Be Proud Of What You Do.  Shout it from the rooftops.  Use Social Media.  Tell the world  about what you are bringing to the marketplace.   You’ve put a lot of blood, sweat and tears into this endeavour.  Make sure it showcases well.  (I do understand that you may not want people to know about an initial planning stage due to dream-stealers.  Yet, this does not mean that you are not proud of the business you are embarking on.)

Your romantic relationship should also make you proud.  When you love a great guy or gal, you want the world to know that this is your special person.  Secrets breed mistrust, and show that you may not be fully committed.  In the end, secrets will come to light…when you least expect it!

3.  Make Your Business A Priority.  Be Passionate about your business.  Put your heart and soul into it.  If you put part-time effort into it, you will get part-time results.  Your business should be a priority in your life.  When you put things before your bottom line—like browsing the internet, cleaning the office, or procrastinating on tasks that will help propel your business forward—you will suffer financially.  I know.  I’ve been there!

When you are in a serious relationship, your special person becomes a priority in your life.  If you are not passionate about seeing your mate, spending time with them, or making them a priority, you will lose them.  The question then is, “Why are you even in the relationship?”  Eventually, they will even come before your kids (if you have any).  I believe however, it should be after God (or whoever is your Higher Power).  God first, then relationship, business/kids/family (you sort out that order).  Points 1-3 seem like they are the same thing, but they are not.  They work hand-in-hand.

4.  Your Values Matter.  If you want to have weekends off, don’t start off working on weekends, unless you know for sure it’s only for a season.  Bending the rules, “just this once”, can lead to a myriad of chain reactions that you may regret.  It’s too hard to backtrack once you have bent the rules.

Don’t compromise your values for love.  When you compromise your values, you will be out of alignment with your moral compass, core and driving needs.  You will become unhappy.  It’s just a matter of time.  If you don’t stand for something, you will fall for anything!

5.  Reward Yourself.  When you have accomplished some milestone, give yourself a gift.  I mean really get into, and FEEL joy of receiving the gift—even if it’s something small when you start out.  This action will help you remember the positive vibes of accomplishing the goal.  You will want to recreate that feeling—and accomplish more goals.  One success begets another.

Reward your partner for kind deeds.  When they do something nice for you, tell them so.  If you see something that they like and you can purchase it, do so.  Who doesn’t love an unexpected gift?  (Again, I stress that you HAVE the finances to purchase it!)  I have yet to see someone who is unhappy to be spoiled and doted on (I didn’t say smothered!)  We love to be rewarded.  Nuff said!

Courtesy Free Digital Downloads

Courtesy Free Digital Downloads

6.  Honesty Is The Best Policy.  No one likes a crooked business(wo)man.  Keep everything above-board, and you will have less to try to hide at tax time.

Honesty is the best policy in relationships as well.  No one likes a cheater and a liar.  And if it’s you, stop!

7.  Get the Family Involved.  In both business and your relationship, when you are getting started, you may need to enlist the help of your family.  If your family is not on side with your business, they will sabotage your efforts.  It may not be openly.  If you are spending long hours working your business, or if you have moved into another income bracket, resentments may also arise.  How dare you leave them behind?  If you need to spend a season on a project, and it will affect your significant other, or your family, make sure they know beforehand.  Arrange a reward for the completion of the project.  Save face before you have to kiss feet.

8.  Get Help.  It sucks to do business alone!  It’s lonely, and you end up living in a vacuum.  Reach out to others in your same field through associations, or Linkedin/FB Groups.  Coaching is THE best way to catapult your business forward.  The accountability has a way of getting your butt in gear!

Before you need help with your relationship, I think it’s helpful to connect with other successful couples.  Conversely, reading about how the opposite sex operates is also helpful.  I have been reading about successful relationships for a while.  Each bit of information gives more insight as to how relationships work.  And I’ll never “arrive”.  That knowledge alone keeps me wanting to learn more.

9.  Give Back.  You started somewhere, and it probably wasn’t at the top.  Before your business is even at the million-dollar mark, start giving a little here and there.  It can be time or finances, but there is never an over-abundance of volunteers.  I have yet to see an organization say, “Please don’t help us”.  What is your pet charity?  How can you help them now?

I believe that volunteering couples help keep selfishness at bay.  Volunteering can strengthen a relationship, and bring a couple closer together.  (Providing there are no hidden agendas.)  Emotional experiences strengthen bonds, and leave a lasting impression on our lives.

10.  It Won’t Be Easy, But It Will Be Worth It.  Anything worth having is worth fighting for, in business, and in love.  If you believe in the business, (or the person you love), you are in integrity, and it is worth fighting for…FIGHT!  We humans—myself included—give up way too easily!  Fight for what you love!

I learned these things the hard way.  My hope is that you glean some nuggets of truth from these points.

Pursue Your Passions & Live A Legacy!

Stephanie, Emerging Princess

www.createdtoexcel.ca

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Monday Motivation~July 8th, 2013

I have been reading a lot about beliefs, and how they affect our actions. Here is a quote from a book that I’m reading right now:

“People don’t buy things, they buy people. Why would someone buy you? Do you think that you are valuable enough? Whatever you believe, they will buy.
Are you selling yourself short? Are you selling what you want to be selling?”
~Mark Victor Hansen

Don’t sell yourself short!

Pursue Your Passion, Live Your Legacy!

Stephanie, Emerging Princess

7 Reasons Why I Love the 4th of July

While most people celebrate the 4th of July for America’s Independence, I celebrate it for entirely different reasons. A few significant things happened to me on this day. I am very grateful because these things affect many other aspects of my life. Here’s why the 4th of July means so much to me. To be fair, America did make the list! 😉

1. America, & The World’s Longest Unmanned Border
I am grateful that I live beside/above the United States of America. I love that we can take day-trips to Buffalo to shop (from the Tdot). I love that we can be Snow Birds to Florida, Arizona or any other warm winter spot. I love that we share so much history with you (although some were through wars! LOL) We do have the world’s longest unmanned border. It means that there is no military at any of our border crossings. To bring it home, no one with a gun is standing guard at the Peace or Rainbow Bridges. That is a great feat. We should be very proud!

2. New Lease on Life #1
My New Life began four years ago today. After strategizing for 156 Days, I finally left a 23-year, verbally abusive marriage. Has it been easy? No! Will I go back? Not a chance! I thoroughly enjoy my new life, challenges and all. I am now an advocate for Domestic Violence. I’m very, very happy that I left when I did. Wished I did it sooner. Grateful that I’ve been given a chance to redesign my future.

3. New Lease on Life #2
For those of you who don’t know it yet, “Children Learn What They Live”. I believe this so strongly that I have put the poem in one of my books, and it’s part of a talk that I give. My daughter followed my example. Thank God, she learned from my mistakes~and her own~ and is living free from abuse as well.

4. My Kids & My Grandson
My kids went through more than any little girls should. They saw their Mother crying A LOT! They stuck by me, giving me hugs and crying along side me on the bad days. I’m forever grateful for the times that we spent bonding in Sista 1’s room, and laughing over silliness. As a result of those times, we can make up the wildest stories about the most mundane events! I thank God for these beautiful young ladies.

When my Grandson was born, we women were determined that the “Little Man” would have a very centered start to his life. He essentially has 5 Mamas (his paternal grandmother has joined the fray). Manners are essential, and he loves to hug and love on people (after he’s checked you out). I’m thankful that his history does not determine his future!

5. New Lease on Life #3
I am very, very grateful that the doctors figured out that I had a Small Bowel Obstruction on July 3rd, 2012, and not on July 4th, 2012. See, if they didn’t do the surgery a year ago today, I wouldn’t be making this blog. It’s only after I recuperated, that I realized the severity of SBO. I am grateful to the doctor who wouldn’t let me leave the hospital when I was tired of waiting~yes, I actually wanted to go home, even though I had not eaten in 3 days. I am really happy to be alive!

6. Free Healthcare: T&T, Canada
So, free Healthcare has been a debate for many countries. I am so thankful that I didn’t have to worry. If my SBO surgery was required in Canada, the Healthcare is free. It so happened that I had the surgery in Trinidad. I’m a native…it was FREE. There are two eerie things that happened with this, though. First, the day before I left on my trip, I was asked if I wanted travel insurance. I refused saying, “I’m not going to Trinidad to get sick!” H’mm, interesting. The second is that I had a stop-over in Miami. Had I gotten ill in Miami, it would have been a whole different story. I’m VErY grateful for free Healthcare!

7. Freedom, Plain & Simple
I can worship my God, sing, dance, or not. I can walk the streets freely. I can go to school~or not. I can wear booty shorts~NOT! The list can go on and on. There is NOTHING quite like living in a FREE country. NOTHING. It’s only when you go to a country that’s restrictive that you can really appreciate it. I’m not American. We Canadians celebrated our Independence Day on July 1st. Yet, I am very aware that we both are very, very grateful for our freedom.

Last week, I discovered my “WHY”. I knew it in my belly, but I got my AHA moment then. Here it is: “I have almost lost something precious to me (my life). I am on a mission (compelled) to tell people that they cannot go through life numb!” Find your passion and pursue it! Live your Legacy!

A different post, for a special day! God Bless Us, Every One!

May Your Cup Always Be Full,

Stephanie, Emerging Princess

Oh Canada!

Today is my adopted country’s birthday.  It’s only fitting that I celebrate some of the great gifts that fellow “Canadians” gave the world.  Sorry for bragging…

I am Canadian, Eh?

May Your Cup Always Be Full,

Stephanie, Emerging Princess

I’m Not Broken, Just Bent

Wow, another year has passed.  This is a reflective post.  Today, which is also my birthday, I’m examining love, and my heart.

Some people wonder why I stayed in an abusive marriage so long.  The love may have been gone a long while before I left.  Although finances played a big part in the decision, the main reason is that I give…big…with my whole heart.  You can step on me a lot before I’ll give up, especially if I love you.  It’s gotten much better than before.  I definitely can spot abuse a mile off, and I run far far away from it.

But, should I stop loving that way?  Even when I volunteer, I give my love away.  Today I said goodbye to a kindergarten class that I volunteer with.  The boys were the first ones to come up to me and give me hugs.  One was crying that he didn’t want me to leave.  Tomorrow it’s the Grade 5s, who I started working with almost 2 years ago.  They are also going to give me the same treatment (although the boys probably won’t cry).  Big hugs, big love.

Recently, my life was touched by a young man who gave up on life.  He didn’t get the love that he was so desperately looking for.  Not from his mother, not from his father…and when he asked his grandfather~there was no hope there either.  He died tragically a little while ago.  No hugs, small love.

Some things change you.  This has.  Especially in light of the fact that I’m also nursing a “broken heart” from giving big hugs, big love.  I’ve had to re-assess a dream, and it doesn’t feel good.  Is it possible for this dream to come true?  Is it time to

English: Love Heart symbol

English: Love Heart symbol (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

give up on it?  Am I even being realistic?  The answers lie in one phrase, “I’m not broken, just bent.”  My dreams are possible, and I am being realistic.  I can give my love away freely.  I CHOOSE to give my love away~to my kids; to my grandson, and all of the adopted grandkids I now have; to young kids who need attention; to young adults who need a hug; to a special person, so we can make a life together.  Will I get hurt again?  Absolutely!  Am I gonna stop as a result?  Absolutely not!  I am more determined than ever to show love to any and every one that needs it.  And my reward is being called Meamah, Mommy or Mumzy by people that are not even related to me.  I guess that’s the biggest birthday present of all!

I’m not broken, just bent.  Big hugs, big love.

May Your Cup Always Be Full,

Stephanie, Emerging Princess

Theological Thursday: 04/04/13

This is a quote from one of my favourite Facebook pastors, Mark Pothier.  Don’t shoot the messenger!  If you can’t say “Amen”, say “Ouch”!

“Dating Tip… Men…

There will always be the guy who is better looking, has more money, bigger muscles, with the big house, and drives that nice car. But what a woman finds really attractive, is a man who fears God, reads his Bible and LIVES it… a man who will pray with her everyday and be her covering. The guy who loves God more than her. That’s the guy she will choose. And if she doesn’t, you had no business with her in the first place.”

couple-holding-hands-5-black

 

Nuff said!

May Your Cup Always Be Full,

Stephanie, Emerging Princess

Wacky Wednesday, Again

Ever had a day like this???

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Tuesday Inspiration…

Speak Out!

May Your Cup Always Be Full,

Stephanie, Emerging Princess

I Choose

Choices

 I woke up early today, excited about all I get to do before the clock strikes midnight.

I have responsibilities to fulfill today. My job is to choose what kind of day I’m going to have.

I can complain because the weather is rainy, or I can be thankful that the grass is getting watered for free.

Today I can cry because roses have thorns, or I can celebrate that thorns have roses.

Today I can whine because I have a job, or I can shout for joy because I have a job to do!

Today I can feel sad that I don’t have more money, or be glad that my finances encourage me to plan my purchases wisely, and to guide me away from waste.

Today I can grumble about my health, or I can rejoice that I am alive.

Today I can lament over all my parents didn’t give me when I was a child, or I can be grateful that they allowed me to be born.

Today I can complain because I have to go to school, or I can eagerly open my mind and fill it with new tibits of knowledge.

Today, I can murmur dejectedly that I have to do housework, or I can feel honoured because the Lord has provided shelter for my mind and body and soul.

Today stretches ahead of me, waiting to be shaped. And here I am, the sculptor who gets to do the shaping.

What today will be like is up to me.

I get to choose what kind of day I will have.

So, have a great day~unless you have other plans!

~Author Unknown

 May Your Cup Always Be Full!

Stephanie, Emerging Princess

Vision Gives Pain a Purpose

Vision Gives Pain a Purpose has become my one of my many mantras.  This is a quote from one of my favourite ministers, Kris Vallotton.  It is the heart of everyone who is a Coach.  Anyone who wants to accomplish something new.  Anyone who wants to grow.

As humans, we want to give up so easily.  I am a die-harder.  I will keep at something until the cows go home.  I stayed in a bad relationship for over 23 years, for goodness sake!  My passion was misplaced, but my pain had a purpose~to give my girls a family.  If you don’t understand this quote, here are a few examples of the passion/purpose connection.

Olympic athlete Usain Bolt trains 3-4 hours each day, plus sprint training.  The daily drills prepared him mentally for many, many years.  He didn’t just wake up and decide to run in the Olympics!  Yet, despite the many long hours of training, winning a gold medal was the purpose for his pain.

*  One of my favourite Smooth Jazz singers, Maysa, took years before she recorded her first solo album.  She sang back-up for Stevie Wonder, and headlined for the R&B band Incognito before releasing an album in 1995.  Her passion for singing kept her going, learning at the feet of greatness, until her passion came to fruition.

*  Thomas Eddison conducted 9,999 experiments before he successfully created the lightbulb.  When he was asked about why he kept going after so many failures, he responded, “I have not failed.  I found 9,999 ways that won’t work”.  He was passionate about putting away candles as the main method of lighting our lives.  He pushed past the pain of “failing” 9, 900, 9,000 and even 9,999 times.  I daresay that we would probably not last past 9.

*  Personally, I made a goal almost three years ago.  It is supposed to come together later this year.  My kids have joked me about it.  At  a recent Single Mom’s event, it was used as an icebreaker.  Some days, I wonder if I was crazy for taking on this elaborate a mission, especially since so many factors are yet to be determined.  Yet, I will not be deterred.  Many

English: Nelson Mandela in Johannesburg, Gaute...

English: Nelson Mandela in Johannesburg, Gauteng, on 13 May 1998 (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

have gone before me who have successfully accomplished it.  The passion of its completion burns in my psyche, and the pain of seeming setbacks is channelled into the purpose for doing each activity that is involved.

Nelson Mandela said, “It always seems impossible until it is done”.  “So many of our dreams at first seem impossible, then they seem improbable, and then, when we summon the will, they soon become inevitable.”  Christopher Reeve penned this quote, and his passion to walk again made the pain of his every day existence have a purpose.

Do you have a goal?  Are you so passionate about accomplishing this feat, that you would not let setbacks and bumps in the road discourage you from accomplishing it?  If you do, your passion and Vision will give your Pain a Purpose!

May Your Cup Always Be Full,

Emerging Princess

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Water For The Journey

Book Release PartyOctober 25th, 2013
The long-awaited release of Water For The Journey: 156 Days To Freedom. All day givaways and book release party!
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