Friday Funday

Haven’t blogged in a few days.  Feeling a little haggard lately.  I saw this sweet diagram about love, and thought I’d pass it on.  Hope you enjoy it!

If the pic doesn’t show properly on your computer, here is the link:

http://www.quickmeme.com/p/3vs1hk

Pursue Your Passions & Live A Legacy,

Stephanie

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10 Things I Learned About Business From Failed Romances

I’ve had a few failed romances over my lifetime.  I’ve been burned, badly, by a few of them.  Here are 10 things that I have learned, and how they apply to a business.  These views are mine!

1.  If You Don’t Treat Your Business Like Gold, No One Else Will.  Find the best products—that you can afford—to aid your business.  We all start somewhere, but using crappy methods will cause you to have to do things over.  And, as the saying goes, “If you don’t have the time to do things well the first time, when will you have the time to do it over?”

Likewise, if you don’t love and treat yourself like GOLD, people will treat you like aluminum foil, crumple you up, and throw you out for recycling.  You have to stand firm for what’s important to you.  Realize that you are Tiffany quality, and let the dollar-store people go!

2.  Be Proud Of What You Do.  Shout it from the rooftops.  Use Social Media.  Tell the world  about what you are bringing to the marketplace.   You’ve put a lot of blood, sweat and tears into this endeavour.  Make sure it showcases well.  (I do understand that you may not want people to know about an initial planning stage due to dream-stealers.  Yet, this does not mean that you are not proud of the business you are embarking on.)

Your romantic relationship should also make you proud.  When you love a great guy or gal, you want the world to know that this is your special person.  Secrets breed mistrust, and show that you may not be fully committed.  In the end, secrets will come to light…when you least expect it!

3.  Make Your Business A Priority.  Be Passionate about your business.  Put your heart and soul into it.  If you put part-time effort into it, you will get part-time results.  Your business should be a priority in your life.  When you put things before your bottom line—like browsing the internet, cleaning the office, or procrastinating on tasks that will help propel your business forward—you will suffer financially.  I know.  I’ve been there!

When you are in a serious relationship, your special person becomes a priority in your life.  If you are not passionate about seeing your mate, spending time with them, or making them a priority, you will lose them.  The question then is, “Why are you even in the relationship?”  Eventually, they will even come before your kids (if you have any).  I believe however, it should be after God (or whoever is your Higher Power).  God first, then relationship, business/kids/family (you sort out that order).  Points 1-3 seem like they are the same thing, but they are not.  They work hand-in-hand.

4.  Your Values Matter.  If you want to have weekends off, don’t start off working on weekends, unless you know for sure it’s only for a season.  Bending the rules, “just this once”, can lead to a myriad of chain reactions that you may regret.  It’s too hard to backtrack once you have bent the rules.

Don’t compromise your values for love.  When you compromise your values, you will be out of alignment with your moral compass, core and driving needs.  You will become unhappy.  It’s just a matter of time.  If you don’t stand for something, you will fall for anything!

5.  Reward Yourself.  When you have accomplished some milestone, give yourself a gift.  I mean really get into, and FEEL joy of receiving the gift—even if it’s something small when you start out.  This action will help you remember the positive vibes of accomplishing the goal.  You will want to recreate that feeling—and accomplish more goals.  One success begets another.

Reward your partner for kind deeds.  When they do something nice for you, tell them so.  If you see something that they like and you can purchase it, do so.  Who doesn’t love an unexpected gift?  (Again, I stress that you HAVE the finances to purchase it!)  I have yet to see someone who is unhappy to be spoiled and doted on (I didn’t say smothered!)  We love to be rewarded.  Nuff said!

Courtesy Free Digital Downloads

Courtesy Free Digital Downloads

6.  Honesty Is The Best Policy.  No one likes a crooked business(wo)man.  Keep everything above-board, and you will have less to try to hide at tax time.

Honesty is the best policy in relationships as well.  No one likes a cheater and a liar.  And if it’s you, stop!

7.  Get the Family Involved.  In both business and your relationship, when you are getting started, you may need to enlist the help of your family.  If your family is not on side with your business, they will sabotage your efforts.  It may not be openly.  If you are spending long hours working your business, or if you have moved into another income bracket, resentments may also arise.  How dare you leave them behind?  If you need to spend a season on a project, and it will affect your significant other, or your family, make sure they know beforehand.  Arrange a reward for the completion of the project.  Save face before you have to kiss feet.

8.  Get Help.  It sucks to do business alone!  It’s lonely, and you end up living in a vacuum.  Reach out to others in your same field through associations, or Linkedin/FB Groups.  Coaching is THE best way to catapult your business forward.  The accountability has a way of getting your butt in gear!

Before you need help with your relationship, I think it’s helpful to connect with other successful couples.  Conversely, reading about how the opposite sex operates is also helpful.  I have been reading about successful relationships for a while.  Each bit of information gives more insight as to how relationships work.  And I’ll never “arrive”.  That knowledge alone keeps me wanting to learn more.

9.  Give Back.  You started somewhere, and it probably wasn’t at the top.  Before your business is even at the million-dollar mark, start giving a little here and there.  It can be time or finances, but there is never an over-abundance of volunteers.  I have yet to see an organization say, “Please don’t help us”.  What is your pet charity?  How can you help them now?

I believe that volunteering couples help keep selfishness at bay.  Volunteering can strengthen a relationship, and bring a couple closer together.  (Providing there are no hidden agendas.)  Emotional experiences strengthen bonds, and leave a lasting impression on our lives.

10.  It Won’t Be Easy, But It Will Be Worth It.  Anything worth having is worth fighting for, in business, and in love.  If you believe in the business, (or the person you love), you are in integrity, and it is worth fighting for…FIGHT!  We humans—myself included—give up way too easily!  Fight for what you love!

I learned these things the hard way.  My hope is that you glean some nuggets of truth from these points.

Pursue Your Passions & Live A Legacy!

Stephanie, Emerging Princess

www.createdtoexcel.ca

The Success Indicator

Today’s post is courtesy of Jeff Moore of My Everyday Power

mistakes

Pursue Your Passion!  Live Your Legacy

Stephanie, Emerging Princess

Monday Motivation: Actions Express Priorities

Said by the famous peace-maker Ghandi, this saying has been etched into my brain this last week. It is a screen-saver on my daughter’s computer, actually. I am glad that I exposed my girls to motivational sayings early in life (and I believe they are too!). This simple phrase has pierced my core, so that I have started examining my life. And as “Socrates” said, “An unexamined life is not worth living”.

Digging deep and examining…Do I really want to go there? There will be many things that I do not want to see! What if I examine my business? Am I on Social Media more than I am doing the important things? Am I really going after my goals with gusto? Can I do more? Am I dreaming big enough?

What about my personal life…do I tell my kids “I love you” every day? Am I hugging and kissing them? And my special relationships…do I give what I want? Am I letting people know how special they are to me? Am I keeping my word? Or do I brush people off with a “waddevah meh!”? Am I holding on to the past, and not allowing the future to have a chance? Am I living and giving with passion?

Shall I stop there? I think not~I’m on a roll! If I say that I want to be wealthy, do I read up on what makes wealth? Am I saving money? Am I investing? If I can’t say “Amen”, I gotta say “ouch”! My actions express what is the priority in my life. And what of my health? Do I say that I want to shed weight, and exercise is not part of my routine, nor do I even buy fresh foods? Then, doing things that hinder weight loss is my priority.

I’m on a mission to create a passionate life. One of the most wasted things on this planet is time…we waste time on Social Media, watching TV and playing video games, then complain that we don’t have enough time to spare. In our relationships, we waste time holding on to bitterness, anger, unforgiveness, and a need to be right, rather than happy. Then we wonder why we are alone. Wasted time…a window into priorities.

I’m awake now, what about you?

Pursue your Passion, Live Your Legacy!

Stephanie, Emerging Princess

Monday Motivation~July 8th, 2013

I have been reading a lot about beliefs, and how they affect our actions. Here is a quote from a book that I’m reading right now:

“People don’t buy things, they buy people. Why would someone buy you? Do you think that you are valuable enough? Whatever you believe, they will buy.
Are you selling yourself short? Are you selling what you want to be selling?”
~Mark Victor Hansen

Don’t sell yourself short!

Pursue Your Passion, Live Your Legacy!

Stephanie, Emerging Princess

7 Reasons Why I Love the 4th of July

While most people celebrate the 4th of July for America’s Independence, I celebrate it for entirely different reasons. A few significant things happened to me on this day. I am very grateful because these things affect many other aspects of my life. Here’s why the 4th of July means so much to me. To be fair, America did make the list! 😉

1. America, & The World’s Longest Unmanned Border
I am grateful that I live beside/above the United States of America. I love that we can take day-trips to Buffalo to shop (from the Tdot). I love that we can be Snow Birds to Florida, Arizona or any other warm winter spot. I love that we share so much history with you (although some were through wars! LOL) We do have the world’s longest unmanned border. It means that there is no military at any of our border crossings. To bring it home, no one with a gun is standing guard at the Peace or Rainbow Bridges. That is a great feat. We should be very proud!

2. New Lease on Life #1
My New Life began four years ago today. After strategizing for 156 Days, I finally left a 23-year, verbally abusive marriage. Has it been easy? No! Will I go back? Not a chance! I thoroughly enjoy my new life, challenges and all. I am now an advocate for Domestic Violence. I’m very, very happy that I left when I did. Wished I did it sooner. Grateful that I’ve been given a chance to redesign my future.

3. New Lease on Life #2
For those of you who don’t know it yet, “Children Learn What They Live”. I believe this so strongly that I have put the poem in one of my books, and it’s part of a talk that I give. My daughter followed my example. Thank God, she learned from my mistakes~and her own~ and is living free from abuse as well.

4. My Kids & My Grandson
My kids went through more than any little girls should. They saw their Mother crying A LOT! They stuck by me, giving me hugs and crying along side me on the bad days. I’m forever grateful for the times that we spent bonding in Sista 1’s room, and laughing over silliness. As a result of those times, we can make up the wildest stories about the most mundane events! I thank God for these beautiful young ladies.

When my Grandson was born, we women were determined that the “Little Man” would have a very centered start to his life. He essentially has 5 Mamas (his paternal grandmother has joined the fray). Manners are essential, and he loves to hug and love on people (after he’s checked you out). I’m thankful that his history does not determine his future!

5. New Lease on Life #3
I am very, very grateful that the doctors figured out that I had a Small Bowel Obstruction on July 3rd, 2012, and not on July 4th, 2012. See, if they didn’t do the surgery a year ago today, I wouldn’t be making this blog. It’s only after I recuperated, that I realized the severity of SBO. I am grateful to the doctor who wouldn’t let me leave the hospital when I was tired of waiting~yes, I actually wanted to go home, even though I had not eaten in 3 days. I am really happy to be alive!

6. Free Healthcare: T&T, Canada
So, free Healthcare has been a debate for many countries. I am so thankful that I didn’t have to worry. If my SBO surgery was required in Canada, the Healthcare is free. It so happened that I had the surgery in Trinidad. I’m a native…it was FREE. There are two eerie things that happened with this, though. First, the day before I left on my trip, I was asked if I wanted travel insurance. I refused saying, “I’m not going to Trinidad to get sick!” H’mm, interesting. The second is that I had a stop-over in Miami. Had I gotten ill in Miami, it would have been a whole different story. I’m VErY grateful for free Healthcare!

7. Freedom, Plain & Simple
I can worship my God, sing, dance, or not. I can walk the streets freely. I can go to school~or not. I can wear booty shorts~NOT! The list can go on and on. There is NOTHING quite like living in a FREE country. NOTHING. It’s only when you go to a country that’s restrictive that you can really appreciate it. I’m not American. We Canadians celebrated our Independence Day on July 1st. Yet, I am very aware that we both are very, very grateful for our freedom.

Last week, I discovered my “WHY”. I knew it in my belly, but I got my AHA moment then. Here it is: “I have almost lost something precious to me (my life). I am on a mission (compelled) to tell people that they cannot go through life numb!” Find your passion and pursue it! Live your Legacy!

A different post, for a special day! God Bless Us, Every One!

May Your Cup Always Be Full,

Stephanie, Emerging Princess

Oh Canada!

Today is my adopted country’s birthday.  It’s only fitting that I celebrate some of the great gifts that fellow “Canadians” gave the world.  Sorry for bragging…

I am Canadian, Eh?

May Your Cup Always Be Full,

Stephanie, Emerging Princess

I’m Not Broken, Just Bent

Wow, another year has passed.  This is a reflective post.  Today, which is also my birthday, I’m examining love, and my heart.

Some people wonder why I stayed in an abusive marriage so long.  The love may have been gone a long while before I left.  Although finances played a big part in the decision, the main reason is that I give…big…with my whole heart.  You can step on me a lot before I’ll give up, especially if I love you.  It’s gotten much better than before.  I definitely can spot abuse a mile off, and I run far far away from it.

But, should I stop loving that way?  Even when I volunteer, I give my love away.  Today I said goodbye to a kindergarten class that I volunteer with.  The boys were the first ones to come up to me and give me hugs.  One was crying that he didn’t want me to leave.  Tomorrow it’s the Grade 5s, who I started working with almost 2 years ago.  They are also going to give me the same treatment (although the boys probably won’t cry).  Big hugs, big love.

Recently, my life was touched by a young man who gave up on life.  He didn’t get the love that he was so desperately looking for.  Not from his mother, not from his father…and when he asked his grandfather~there was no hope there either.  He died tragically a little while ago.  No hugs, small love.

Some things change you.  This has.  Especially in light of the fact that I’m also nursing a “broken heart” from giving big hugs, big love.  I’ve had to re-assess a dream, and it doesn’t feel good.  Is it possible for this dream to come true?  Is it time to

English: Love Heart symbol

English: Love Heart symbol (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

give up on it?  Am I even being realistic?  The answers lie in one phrase, “I’m not broken, just bent.”  My dreams are possible, and I am being realistic.  I can give my love away freely.  I CHOOSE to give my love away~to my kids; to my grandson, and all of the adopted grandkids I now have; to young kids who need attention; to young adults who need a hug; to a special person, so we can make a life together.  Will I get hurt again?  Absolutely!  Am I gonna stop as a result?  Absolutely not!  I am more determined than ever to show love to any and every one that needs it.  And my reward is being called Meamah, Mommy or Mumzy by people that are not even related to me.  I guess that’s the biggest birthday present of all!

I’m not broken, just bent.  Big hugs, big love.

May Your Cup Always Be Full,

Stephanie, Emerging Princess

Porcupine Pie

It’s been a while since I’ve posted.  As I naturally lean theologically, this one came to me today.

Yesterday (June 12th, 2013), my eldest daughter graduated from college.  Although the journey took a circuitous route, my daughter is now “legally” a fashion designer.  There are so many metaphors in this single occasion.  I’m going to zero in on one.

As you can see from the pic below, me and my daughter rock “natural” hair (as do my other 2 daughters).  This can be a big issue for the woman of colour.  Some prefer to go through the trials of having relaxers, weaves or wigs.  My girls and I are NOT to making a statement.  We are NOT proving that we are better than anyone.  We just prefer our own hair, as it comes out of our scalp.  This has been a bone of contention for my former partner.  He is of the belief that “something” should be done with hair for black women.  Either way, I believe that there is no place to push your views of how you believe someone should wear their hair.

After her graduation ceremony, my daughter went to greet her father.  The first thing out of his mouth was, “When are you going to do something with your hair?  I’ll give you some money.  Oh, congratulations, by the way.”  He served up an unwanted piece of Porcupine Pie.  Little did he know, this diss allowed me the freedom of enjoying the reception at her commencement.  She fully made no effort to find him in the crowd after that.  I hung out with my daughter’s friends, took pictures and gave hugs.  My daughter and I were then were able to enjoy a leisurely afternoon together, walking through downtown Toronto.

Later that evening, my daughter did connect with her father.  He now lives alone.  His words have pushed away the people who are supposed to be the closest to him.  It truly is a sad thing.  Yet, isn’t life about relationships?  Isn’t is great to be in the company of another human being, having conversation and connection?  I know what it was like while I was in the abusive marriage.  I wished that I could talk to people.  I wished that I had a friend.  I wished that I wasn’t so alone.

The thing is, the choice is ours.  It is up to us whether we give love, or Porcupine Pie.  I now choose to give big to the people I come in contact with.  I choose to have deep, meaningful conversations with lots of people, especially 20-something year olds.  There are many youngsters who call me Meamah or “Mrs. T.” even though they are not my own child.  If someone willingly chooses to call me an endearment such as that, what an honour to be thought of so highly!  I choose to hug lots and lots of people.  I believe that when you love on people, you will never be alone.  My arms and my heart are big enough.  So at holidays, my house is full of people who may (or may not) have family nearby, and they want pleasant company.  At any given moment, my kids may say to me, “Mumsy, my friend(s) are coming over”.  They weren’t able to to that before.  I will guard that freedom like a hawk.  There’s no joy greater than knowing you have influenced someone positively.

Proverbs 15:1 says:  “A gentle answer deflects anger, but harsh words make tempers flare. [NLT])  Or, it turns away a whole family.  And there is a saying by Elbert Hubbard:  “In order to have friends, you must first be one.”  H’mmm…interesting.  Porcupine Pie anyone?  Not a chance.  I’m learning to be that which I desire.

May Your Cup Always Be Full,

Stephanie, Emerging Princess

1008462_10200103750578518_201977483_o

Yes, there actually IS a song called Porcupine Pie!  (Don’t ask…)

Theological Thursday: 04/04/13

This is a quote from one of my favourite Facebook pastors, Mark Pothier.  Don’t shoot the messenger!  If you can’t say “Amen”, say “Ouch”!

“Dating Tip… Men…

There will always be the guy who is better looking, has more money, bigger muscles, with the big house, and drives that nice car. But what a woman finds really attractive, is a man who fears God, reads his Bible and LIVES it… a man who will pray with her everyday and be her covering. The guy who loves God more than her. That’s the guy she will choose. And if she doesn’t, you had no business with her in the first place.”

couple-holding-hands-5-black

 

Nuff said!

May Your Cup Always Be Full,

Stephanie, Emerging Princess

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Water For The Journey

Book Release PartyOctober 25th, 2013
The long-awaited release of Water For The Journey: 156 Days To Freedom. All day givaways and book release party!
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