Wacky Wednesday, 01/29/14

I love a funny video.  I hope this one gets you laughing today.  Remember, the week’s half-over!

Pursue Your Passion & Live a Legacy,

Stephanie, Renaissance Queen

The Game Changer

Every now and then, something happens in our lives, and we are changed forever.  It can be the death of a loved one, the loss of a job, a divorce, the birth of a child…It seems like we constantly come across things that challenge our very existence as human beings.

Yet, isn’t that what life is made of?  Isn’t life made up of the birth of children, the graduation from college, the marriages, the divorces, loss of jobs, and finally death?  Why, then, are we so unable to deal with life?  Or is it that some events affect us more than others, and knock us over the head like a two-by-four?

I deduce that it is the latter.  I believe that sometimes an event affects us so deeply that it becomes a Game Changer in our life.  Game Changer is defined as: an event, idea, or procedure that effects a significant shift in the current way of doing or thinking about something.  Say that three times fast!  Sometimes, I believe that Game Changers don’t even have to be huge.  It can just be the realization that you do not want to do things the same way anymore.  So, how does one get past the Game Changer life event?  I believe that there are many ways, and I’ll touch on a few of them here:

  • Stop, Drop & Roll:  Analyzation can be the first step in getting past the Game Changer event.  What brought you to this place in time?  Was it preventable?  What can you learn from the event?  What are the steps that you now wish to take now to remedy this situation?  Having a plan can often be half the battle won.
  • Gratitude:  Holla!  I know when I am grumpy, what to trace it back to…un*grate*ful*ness!  It seems like such a small thing, but gratitude can bring about a huge change in a person’s life.  I have been journaling for most of my adult life in one form or another.  I have been solidly gratitude journaling for about 5 years.  When I am not grateful, I become critical of my life, as well as other people. I also become lethargic, and I lose my joy.  There are many different ways to do gratitude journaling, but that is not the jist of my writing today.  The idea is to write!  Being grateful for three things each day will start to shift your negative head space.  You may not believe it, but it is very true.  Try it before you go about your day, or if you are morning-challenged like myself, use a few minutes before bed to get your gratitude fix.  Before long, you’ll find things to be grateful for besides your family, food and shelter!  😉
  • Share The Load:  there are people somewhere who have been through what you have.  I am a consummate stuffer.  I keep my feelings to myself, don’t like to talk about my problems, and I’ve grown up with the mantra of “people don’t have to know yer business” ringing in my head.  Although some things need to be kept private (or shared only with trusted close friends), sharing some of the things that you are going through helps lighten the load.  If it is a serious Game Changer, you may wish to reach out to a counselor.  Emotional health is end goal. The best people that I have ever reached out to are coaches (not just because I am one).  When I work with a coach, the accountability factor helps me move forward past the event, and on to accomplishing my goals in record time.  Consider getting a Coach to help you, and if it’s not possible, reach out to an accountability partner or group.
  •  Pursue Passion!  Often, just the event alone will open ones’ eyes up to the fact that you were just going through the motions…doing the same-old same-old, living numb.  Why go to a job if you are not passionate about it, or do anything if we are not putting our all into it?  When given a chance to examine our life, we realize that we have let much of our life slip away without embracing it, without doing what we really wanted, without Living a Legacy or being Passionate.

This is precisely what happened to me, except, I had a series of Game Changers (lucky me!).  I had things that I went through that opened my eyes to the fact that half of my life had passed, and I had not embraced it.  I had not done many of the things on my bucket list.  To top things off, I certainly wasn’t living Passionately, much less Living a Legacy (see previous blog posts).

My Game Changers showed me that a change had to be made.  I decided that life was to be embraced!  I chose to have only good days.  I enjoyed people, food, nature, events~whatever came my way, I found a way to get the good out of it.  Yes, even a car accident!  I started connecting with people through hugs (and became known for them), and mindfully getting past superficial chit-chat to finding out what was their bliss.  Along the way, I researched what made me tick, what made my heart sing, how I wanted to give back to my community, and what I wanted my Legacy to look like.  I discovered that forgiveness is a huge factor in happiness, and I wrote a manual to help my Coaching clients work through their own forgiveness issues.  Over the course of 4 years, I created a program that I now call Passion Posse, and started embarking on my Preferred Passion Path~the final piece of living Passionately.

And it’s a Game Changer!  To show some of the steps that I took to get on the Passion Path, ladies (guys can join, but I am focusing on lady problems!), I invite you to join me on December 11th, 2013, as I present a webinar called:  Dumping the Numb:  7 Steps to a More Passionate Life.  Who is this webinar for?  It’s for the professional woman, either in business or an entrepreneur.  Maybe you have been superwoman for a long time.  Perhaps you have a family, maybe you are single…either way, the passion has gone out of your life.  These 7 Steps will help give you some tools to help put some pep back in your step.

I am releasing details about this webinar today because it is December 6th, a very significant day here in Canada.  I am a survivor of Domestic Abuse.  I want to honour the fallen women from Montreal who died senselessly so many years ago on this date.  I will also be revealing a partnership with three organizations connected to DV~December 6 Fund, hEr VOLUTION and World Vision~ but you’ll have to get on the training call to know the details!

You can register for the webinar here.  If you miss it, you can get it on replay, but you have to be registered to get the replay.

Remember:  Pursue Your Passion & Live a Legacy

Stephanie

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The Success Indicator

Today’s post is courtesy of Jeff Moore of My Everyday Power

mistakes

Pursue Your Passion!  Live Your Legacy

Stephanie, Emerging Princess

Monday Motivation: Actions Express Priorities

Said by the famous peace-maker Ghandi, this saying has been etched into my brain this last week. It is a screen-saver on my daughter’s computer, actually. I am glad that I exposed my girls to motivational sayings early in life (and I believe they are too!). This simple phrase has pierced my core, so that I have started examining my life. And as “Socrates” said, “An unexamined life is not worth living”.

Digging deep and examining…Do I really want to go there? There will be many things that I do not want to see! What if I examine my business? Am I on Social Media more than I am doing the important things? Am I really going after my goals with gusto? Can I do more? Am I dreaming big enough?

What about my personal life…do I tell my kids “I love you” every day? Am I hugging and kissing them? And my special relationships…do I give what I want? Am I letting people know how special they are to me? Am I keeping my word? Or do I brush people off with a “waddevah meh!”? Am I holding on to the past, and not allowing the future to have a chance? Am I living and giving with passion?

Shall I stop there? I think not~I’m on a roll! If I say that I want to be wealthy, do I read up on what makes wealth? Am I saving money? Am I investing? If I can’t say “Amen”, I gotta say “ouch”! My actions express what is the priority in my life. And what of my health? Do I say that I want to shed weight, and exercise is not part of my routine, nor do I even buy fresh foods? Then, doing things that hinder weight loss is my priority.

I’m on a mission to create a passionate life. One of the most wasted things on this planet is time…we waste time on Social Media, watching TV and playing video games, then complain that we don’t have enough time to spare. In our relationships, we waste time holding on to bitterness, anger, unforgiveness, and a need to be right, rather than happy. Then we wonder why we are alone. Wasted time…a window into priorities.

I’m awake now, what about you?

Pursue your Passion, Live Your Legacy!

Stephanie, Emerging Princess

Monday Motivation~July 8th, 2013

I have been reading a lot about beliefs, and how they affect our actions. Here is a quote from a book that I’m reading right now:

“People don’t buy things, they buy people. Why would someone buy you? Do you think that you are valuable enough? Whatever you believe, they will buy.
Are you selling yourself short? Are you selling what you want to be selling?”
~Mark Victor Hansen

Don’t sell yourself short!

Pursue Your Passion, Live Your Legacy!

Stephanie, Emerging Princess

Foodie Friday~Coconut Pudding

I haven’t done a Foodie Friday post in a long while. I have been experimenting a lot with foods since my SBO surgery. Large amounts of milk don’t sit well in my digestive system, so I use coconut milk. I have also been working with chia and flax seeds to thicken things. I use them in my smoothies, and I’ve also made chocolate puddings with them. However, I wanted a coconut pudding that wasn’t brown. I needed it desperately, as I was no longer eating yogourt (something I never thought I would give up). Being a West-Indian, I also don’t measure often~I just eye-ball. I can almost never give a person a recipe unless I’ve done it a few times. This Coconut Pudding is very easy…And it tastes delish! I used psyllium instead of the seeds to thicken it, and just a bit of sugar. If it isn’t sweet enough for your tastes, add more (I don’t like too sweet). Keep in mind, it will never be quite the same as a “normal” pudding. But this one is nice consistency. I use canned coconut milk. I haven’t tried making my own quite as yet.

COCONUT PUDDING
1 12-oz (375ml) can coconut milk (without additives)
1 tbs virgin coconut oil, melted and cooled
1 tbs. cane sugar
2-1/2 tbs psyllium (I buy at the bulk food store)

Pour coconut milk into a blender. Add the rest of ingredients and blend on low for 2 minutes. Turn onto high and blend for another minute. Pour into a glass container, cover and chill for 3-4 hours or overnight. Stir it up before serving.

Perfect over fresh fruit!

Perfect over fresh fruit!

Like I said, I use it as my yogourt substitute. I put it on fruit, and add some granola (like in pic). Or, I just have a small bowl on its own. The coconut oil helps to satisfy your appetite, so a little goes a long way!

Enjoy,

May Your Cup Always Be Full,

Stephanie, Emerging Princess

Oh Canada!

Today is my adopted country’s birthday.  It’s only fitting that I celebrate some of the great gifts that fellow “Canadians” gave the world.  Sorry for bragging…

I am Canadian, Eh?

May Your Cup Always Be Full,

Stephanie, Emerging Princess

I’m Not Broken, Just Bent

Wow, another year has passed.  This is a reflective post.  Today, which is also my birthday, I’m examining love, and my heart.

Some people wonder why I stayed in an abusive marriage so long.  The love may have been gone a long while before I left.  Although finances played a big part in the decision, the main reason is that I give…big…with my whole heart.  You can step on me a lot before I’ll give up, especially if I love you.  It’s gotten much better than before.  I definitely can spot abuse a mile off, and I run far far away from it.

But, should I stop loving that way?  Even when I volunteer, I give my love away.  Today I said goodbye to a kindergarten class that I volunteer with.  The boys were the first ones to come up to me and give me hugs.  One was crying that he didn’t want me to leave.  Tomorrow it’s the Grade 5s, who I started working with almost 2 years ago.  They are also going to give me the same treatment (although the boys probably won’t cry).  Big hugs, big love.

Recently, my life was touched by a young man who gave up on life.  He didn’t get the love that he was so desperately looking for.  Not from his mother, not from his father…and when he asked his grandfather~there was no hope there either.  He died tragically a little while ago.  No hugs, small love.

Some things change you.  This has.  Especially in light of the fact that I’m also nursing a “broken heart” from giving big hugs, big love.  I’ve had to re-assess a dream, and it doesn’t feel good.  Is it possible for this dream to come true?  Is it time to

English: Love Heart symbol

English: Love Heart symbol (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

give up on it?  Am I even being realistic?  The answers lie in one phrase, “I’m not broken, just bent.”  My dreams are possible, and I am being realistic.  I can give my love away freely.  I CHOOSE to give my love away~to my kids; to my grandson, and all of the adopted grandkids I now have; to young kids who need attention; to young adults who need a hug; to a special person, so we can make a life together.  Will I get hurt again?  Absolutely!  Am I gonna stop as a result?  Absolutely not!  I am more determined than ever to show love to any and every one that needs it.  And my reward is being called Meamah, Mommy or Mumzy by people that are not even related to me.  I guess that’s the biggest birthday present of all!

I’m not broken, just bent.  Big hugs, big love.

May Your Cup Always Be Full,

Stephanie, Emerging Princess

Porcupine Pie

It’s been a while since I’ve posted.  As I naturally lean theologically, this one came to me today.

Yesterday (June 12th, 2013), my eldest daughter graduated from college.  Although the journey took a circuitous route, my daughter is now “legally” a fashion designer.  There are so many metaphors in this single occasion.  I’m going to zero in on one.

As you can see from the pic below, me and my daughter rock “natural” hair (as do my other 2 daughters).  This can be a big issue for the woman of colour.  Some prefer to go through the trials of having relaxers, weaves or wigs.  My girls and I are NOT to making a statement.  We are NOT proving that we are better than anyone.  We just prefer our own hair, as it comes out of our scalp.  This has been a bone of contention for my former partner.  He is of the belief that “something” should be done with hair for black women.  Either way, I believe that there is no place to push your views of how you believe someone should wear their hair.

After her graduation ceremony, my daughter went to greet her father.  The first thing out of his mouth was, “When are you going to do something with your hair?  I’ll give you some money.  Oh, congratulations, by the way.”  He served up an unwanted piece of Porcupine Pie.  Little did he know, this diss allowed me the freedom of enjoying the reception at her commencement.  She fully made no effort to find him in the crowd after that.  I hung out with my daughter’s friends, took pictures and gave hugs.  My daughter and I were then were able to enjoy a leisurely afternoon together, walking through downtown Toronto.

Later that evening, my daughter did connect with her father.  He now lives alone.  His words have pushed away the people who are supposed to be the closest to him.  It truly is a sad thing.  Yet, isn’t life about relationships?  Isn’t is great to be in the company of another human being, having conversation and connection?  I know what it was like while I was in the abusive marriage.  I wished that I could talk to people.  I wished that I had a friend.  I wished that I wasn’t so alone.

The thing is, the choice is ours.  It is up to us whether we give love, or Porcupine Pie.  I now choose to give big to the people I come in contact with.  I choose to have deep, meaningful conversations with lots of people, especially 20-something year olds.  There are many youngsters who call me Meamah or “Mrs. T.” even though they are not my own child.  If someone willingly chooses to call me an endearment such as that, what an honour to be thought of so highly!  I choose to hug lots and lots of people.  I believe that when you love on people, you will never be alone.  My arms and my heart are big enough.  So at holidays, my house is full of people who may (or may not) have family nearby, and they want pleasant company.  At any given moment, my kids may say to me, “Mumsy, my friend(s) are coming over”.  They weren’t able to to that before.  I will guard that freedom like a hawk.  There’s no joy greater than knowing you have influenced someone positively.

Proverbs 15:1 says:  “A gentle answer deflects anger, but harsh words make tempers flare. [NLT])  Or, it turns away a whole family.  And there is a saying by Elbert Hubbard:  “In order to have friends, you must first be one.”  H’mmm…interesting.  Porcupine Pie anyone?  Not a chance.  I’m learning to be that which I desire.

May Your Cup Always Be Full,

Stephanie, Emerging Princess

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Yes, there actually IS a song called Porcupine Pie!  (Don’t ask…)

Wacky Wednesday~03/20/13

My friend in England posted this, and I thought it quite funny.  Enjoy!

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May Your Cup Always Be Full,

Stephanie, Emerging Princess

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Water For The Journey

Book Release PartyOctober 25th, 2013
The long-awaited release of Water For The Journey: 156 Days To Freedom. All day givaways and book release party!
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