The Success Indicator

Today’s post is courtesy of Jeff Moore of My Everyday Power

mistakes

Pursue Your Passion!  Live Your Legacy

Stephanie, Emerging Princess

Itsy Bitsy Teenie Weenie Yellow Polka-Dot Bikini

It’s Theological Thursday.  As is the custom, here is a post from a Christian point of view.  Enjoy!

I remember the day as if it was yesterday.  I was warned, but nothing prepared me for what I saw that day.

A few days before, I lay on a hospital bed in the emergency ward, preparing for surgery.  I had developed a condition, a Small Bowel Obstruction, which required emergency surgery.  The doctor explained what he was going to do, and where they were going to cut.  I looked at the Doctor, mortified.

Surgery

Surgery (Photo credit: Army Medicine)

“Can’t you cut across my belly, below my belly-button?” I asked.

“No, that’s not possible,” the gentle Doctor quietly responded.

Well, when they got to the surgical floor, I prayed that the situation would change.  My procedure was successful (or I wouldn’t be writing this blog! 😉  ).  A day later, a nurse came to change my dressing.  Most of my stomach area had gauze or surgical tape.  I eagerly awaited the revelation of where my actual scars were.  As the nurse worked and explained what she was doing, I peeked.  I would eventually be doing her job when I was released.  As the gauze was taken off, I gasped.  I had been cut from my sternum, past my belly-button, all the way down to—well I couldn’t tell.  I couldn’t see that far!  My hopes of a low-lying scar were dashed against a rock, and broken into a million pieces!

“Who would want a scarred body like this?” I thought.  Turning to the nurse, I said,

“Oooh gosh, look at dat!”

“Girl, yuh had may-jah belly sur-dree”, she replied.

Not only was the surgery a surprise, I was also in a foreign country.  I was in the second week of a vacation to my birthplace, Trinidad.  It didn’t take me long to revert to being a “Trini” again—embracing the slower pace of life, and the sing-song method of speaking.

A few days later, I was released from the hospital.  During the next couple of weeks, I had some major fights with God about my scar.  It was a bone of contention during many of my prayer sessions.  I believe that it even started sowing the seed of ingratitude in my heart.  I was upset that now, I couldn’t wear an “Itsy Bitsy Teeny Weenie” bikini of any colour.

One day, I came to my senses and thought,

“Hold up!  This is ridiculous!  You have borne three children.  Your belly has been stretched to the maximum.  You have all the rivers of the world etched into your belly as proof!  There’s no way under the sun, that you’ll even ever go out in public in a bikini!”

That was a huge turning point for me.  Perhaps being angry at the scar was a way of taking my mind off the seriousness of the surgery.  Either way, I was finally able to thank the Lover Of My Soul for creating my body to be the wonderful machine that it was.  I was grateful that I was able to bear three wonderful children and nourish them.  I had strong legs, hands that worked, and a sound mind.

I looked back at the events surrounding my surgery, and they had God’s hand written all over them.  My room-mates were all Christians.  Visitors provided prayer coverage, and worship music was constantly playing.  I was surrounded by relatives who loved and cared for me.  This included a prayer-warrior aunt, who mustered up the support from my childhood church.  I had the surgery in a fabulous teaching hospital, with the head registrar leading my team of doctors.  I was able to have the surgery for free, as I was born there.  And when I was released into the care of my relatives, I didn’t have to lift a finger.  My laundry was done for me, my food prepared…that would not have been the case had I been in my own house.  This is the first time in my life that I was truly pampered.  Fussing over an “Itsy Bitsy Teeny Weenie Yellow Polka-Dot Bikini” seemed so puerile.

Recovery was a challenge, I won’t lie.  This surgery really changed my life.  Each day I’m thankful for my health.  I look at my “bikini” line”, and I’m well-aware that God saved me from the jaws of death.  The Lover Of My Soul has a great plan for my life.  I will reap my heavenly rewards, after I shake off this broken-temporal body.

What life-changing (near-death?) experience have you survived?  Please share…

May Your Cup Always Be Full,

Stephanie, Emerging Princess

 

 

I Choose

Choices

 I woke up early today, excited about all I get to do before the clock strikes midnight.

I have responsibilities to fulfill today. My job is to choose what kind of day I’m going to have.

I can complain because the weather is rainy, or I can be thankful that the grass is getting watered for free.

Today I can cry because roses have thorns, or I can celebrate that thorns have roses.

Today I can whine because I have a job, or I can shout for joy because I have a job to do!

Today I can feel sad that I don’t have more money, or be glad that my finances encourage me to plan my purchases wisely, and to guide me away from waste.

Today I can grumble about my health, or I can rejoice that I am alive.

Today I can lament over all my parents didn’t give me when I was a child, or I can be grateful that they allowed me to be born.

Today I can complain because I have to go to school, or I can eagerly open my mind and fill it with new tibits of knowledge.

Today, I can murmur dejectedly that I have to do housework, or I can feel honoured because the Lord has provided shelter for my mind and body and soul.

Today stretches ahead of me, waiting to be shaped. And here I am, the sculptor who gets to do the shaping.

What today will be like is up to me.

I get to choose what kind of day I will have.

So, have a great day~unless you have other plans!

~Author Unknown

 May Your Cup Always Be Full!

Stephanie, Emerging Princess

Living Liberally (Part IV)

So far, I’ve talked about Leaving a Legacy and Living Lightly.  The middle part of my speech, as I said before, is Live Liberally.  In addition to being the opposite of “fundamental”, I try to also think of the word Liberal as a synonym of free.

What have you always wanted to try, but your thinking has limited you?  Have you always wanted to jet ski?  What is stopping you?  Is it a secret desire of yours to go to Australia for a vacation?  What is stopping you from setting the plans in motion?  Have you begun to check things off your Bucket List?  Do you have a Bucket List?

For over 20 years, I have not been in a pool, nor have I owned or worn a bathing suit. I was terrified of the water.  This problem began when I was a kid, in the West Indies.  I found myself on a “homemade” glass-bottom boat in the middle of the Atlantic.  Visions of the boat coming apart, and the passengers drowning were very real to me at the time.  And this has lasted through much of my adult life.  As a result of my Bucket List, I was determined to buy a bathing suit, and get into water. I set my plans into motion. On a whim, I volunteered to go on someone’s sailboat to “help” man the sails. It is a good thing that I forgot about my promise until the last minute, or I would have probably backed down. When I told my youngest daughter what I was doing, she reminded me that I was afraid of the water. “Not any more”, I replied and ran off for my adventure. I decided that I could do it. I let go of my inhibitions and I sat~or stood~on the edge of a sailboat at a 45⁰ angle to the water at times. I had a blast! My conclusion: You need to be buff to man a sailboat!  Since then, I have also been able to get into pools, and have even gotten into the ocean several times over the summer (despite my major surgery). I am not a great swimmer, but I got into water, AND I own a bathing suit!

There are so many wonderful things that you can try.  The world is full of interesting places to go and remarkable people to see.  Even the mundane can take on a new spin by changing one or two things.  Going to and from work the same way every day causes creativity to go dormant.  Maybe you could try a different route, if not there, then on the way home.  If that is not possible, try something else that you can change without creating too many problems.  Even getting onto a different car on the public transit system can drastically change the events of your day~and the people that you meet..

Life is so very short.  The mundane can make a person stir crazy (but it is so easy to slip into it)!  When I think of all the things I have yet to try, I wonder how I’m gonna fit it all into my schedule sometimes.  If your life has gotten dull and boring, try pepping it up by injecting a dose of Living Liberally!

May Your Cup Always Be Full,

Emerging Princess☺

Leaving Your Legacy (Part I)

In Toronto, we have a great motivational evening of speeches called Motivational Mondays, affectionately known as MoMondays.  It’s a great practising venue for speakers, and aspiring speakers.  I spoke last night, and the speech I gave reminded me of a few blogs that I did based on that speech almost a year ago.  I am re-blogging them.  The first one is the last part of my speech, but the most important:

I was at my favourite bakery last fall, purchasing a pastry when the phone rang. Apparently, someone who was close to the employees of the store, had passed away. My server became very flustered, and in her shoes, I would have been also.

As I left, I ruminated about one of my keynote speeches, The Power of 36. In that speech, I encourage people to do three things.  “Leave a Legacy” is one of the things I encourage people to do.  The lady who had passed away did so suddenly. What was her legacy I wondered?

I take the public transit to most places in our city. In my area, we have several bus drivers. Most people that take my bus route do not want to get one specific driver because, no matter what you do, she has to find something to complain about when you get on the bus. She has a Legacy of meanness that goes before and after her. Yet, there are drivers who are known for their Legacy of pleasantness and good manners. All the drivers started out with the same options available to them.

Since I started a new life a few years ago, I have been striving to leave a Legacy. We all have the capabilities of writing our life stories. We have the choice to smile or frown, be pleasant or sour. As a Coach, I encourage people to live life to the fullest and learn how to shake off bad situations. If people know me for anything, it’s that: 1. I am a thriving survivor, and: 2. I do not have bad days; I have bad moments. Teaching people that they can turn a “bad day” into “simply a bad moment” in their day is eye-opening to so many! We humans love to say things like “I’m having a bad hair day” or “This is just not a good day for me”. By doing so, we limit the happy moments that may come our way each day.

My Legacy, then, is teaching people to have good days. If I teach 100 people this concept, and they GET IT, and pass it on, so many lives would be touched. That , I believe, would be an amazing Legacy to leave behind!

Next time, I will share with you how to Live Your Legacy.

May Your Cup Always Be Full!

Friday Inspirista

This chart may be very helpful~especially for anyone who is self employed.

Hope you have a fabulous weekend, WordPress Peeps!

May Your Cup Always Be Full,

Emerging Princess  🙂

Brian Tracy

Yesterday, I went to a Brian Tracy all-day teaching. That in and of itself was not significant, but as I was coming home, I started pondering on some things.

Brian Tracy was helpful in my preparation and recovery from my abusive relationship. As I was getting ready to leave, I would listen to him and other inspirational speakers. I knew that I needed to have a change in my mind if I was to succeed at getting out of my relationship with my mind intact. I subscribed to Brian’s information e-mails, and had an inspirational e-mail delivered to my inbox each day. I read his book “Reinvention”, as I knew that I needed to find out who I was again. His “Focal Point” book kept me focused on my goal of leaving.

Blah, blah, blah…so what? I realized again, yesterday, that many people will not even enlighten their minds with a book, much less an all-day seminar. As I am getting my business going, I have made specific decisions. I have chosen not to go into debt. Last year, I sold my car, and am taking public transit. Normally, that doesn’t mean anything, but my seminar yesterday was in another city. I had many challenges getting there in the morning, and a freak storm to muddle through on the return trip. I still got there on time, and stood with other determined souls at the bus stop on the way home. A few weeks ago, I spoke of another seminar that I went to. On the Sunday morning, I had a good distance to walk to get to that seminar on time. The buses did not start running until later in the day. I could have rented a car, but I walk an hour each day anyways. I looked at it as getting my exercise for the day.

Many people are content just to get by from pay cheque to pay cheque. I am not such a person. I am looking to make a change in my world. I am looking to make a change in the lives of women who have been affected by divorce, especially if there is abuse attached to it. I am hoping too give direction to young girls, informing them about building their self-esteem so that abuse does not happen to them.

You see, right now, as Oprah said, I “prefer the pain of discipline over the pain of regret”. I’m “doing the best at this moment, to prepare me for the next moment”. Eventually, I’ll be driving a car again. I may choose to get some of the “things” that I would like to have. I hope to even start a foundation to help those less fortunate. But for now, I choose not to add a car payment to my list of bills.

Are you hungry enough? As you recover from your own problems, whether it be abuse or something else, will you stand at a bus stop in a storm to get better as a human being? Will you be willing to walk to a seminar that would help change your mental attitudes for a lifetime? Will you be willing to invest in YOU? Or are you content with a temporary “fix” that will fade like the sunset, because it feels good NOW? Hmmm…

May Your Cup Always Be Full,

Emerging Princess

The Battle Of The Mind

Now if you are going to win any battle you have to do one thing. You have to make the mind run the body. Never let the body tell the mind what to do. The body will always give up. It is always tired in the morning, noon, and night. But the body is never tired if the mind is not tired.

~General George S. Patton

As a man thinketh, so is he; it’s mind over matter…We’ve all heard these phrases. But how does it apply in everyday life? I think we do this more than we realize. It’s called willpower.

This weekend, I will be taking part in a huge lesson in willpower. This week, I have been trying to work on a writing project while looking after a 2-year old. On day one, I decided that I could only get things done after 6pm, so I stayed up many nights until 2am, only to rise at 7:30 or 8am to start the cycle all over again. Yesterday, while my little charge was napping, I decided to nap also. But alas! My mind decided to create my signature poem (I never write poetry, so I seized the opportunity). By the time I was done, the little man was awake! I have definitely not achieved my writing goals for the week, and I am very much in need of sleep!

Oh yeah, about this weekend…For months, I have planned to go to a three-day seminar. It so happens that it falls on the heels of this sleep-deprived, non-productive week. The first session starts this evening, and at about 11pm tonight, I will be practising mind over body techniques. I believe I will have to do it tomorrow morning at about 7:00am when I have to crawl out of bed to continue my marathon seminar session. And on Sunday at about 5pm, I will probably be chanting, “I think I can, I think I can” like Thomas The Tank Engine!

I love my sleep, I always have. Here’s hoping that the moderator is engaging! Let the battle begin!

May your cup always be full,

Emerging Princess

Kokomo

Aka, Crashing.

Last Thursday, I took a trip to Bermuda.  I always liked that Beach Boys Song, Kokomo, and it started with Bermuda.  While I was there, I imbibed many island treats.  I had rice and peas with jerk chicken, I drank cool drinks made with mangoes, bananas and coconut cream, and I lounged around in my bathing suit while reading books.  I had a blast listening to meringue music, and occasionally getting up to dance off some of the food that I was eating.  This trip was surreal.  Why?  Because I never left home!

You see, on Thursday morning, I crashed.  This happens sometimes while a person is recovering from an abusive relationship.  The first time that I crashed, I was actually still in it.  I think that is the reason why I was so taken off guard with this crashing experience.  What made me crash in the first place?  I mean, I thought I was over that!

Thankfully, because I am a Coach, I cannot go through a situation without analyzing it.  My future mate had better be a Coach as well!  :-/  I believe that I got into a slump because I did not have faith in myself.  Ahh, that ol’ self-esteem thing again!  I did not reach my financial goals with my business, so I was doubting that I could actually do what I set out to do.  In the end, I figured that my battle was with God.  If I was doing what I was supposed to be doing (and I was), why was I not getting handsomely rewarded for it?  Why was I not turning away bookings or clients because I was so busy?  Why was I not rolling in dough?  God, it seemed, chose to be completely silent during my ordeal.

Then, to my chagrin, I kept getting notices on Facebook or through e-mails saying:  “The teacher is always silent during the test.”  HELLO!  Stop rubbing my nose in it!  By day two, I was able to sit down and figure a few things out.  I realized that:

1.  I was not a failure

2.  Many women were looking to me for hope, direction and strength through my speaking, writing and coaching

3.  There are many routes to get to a destination.  Just because I have to take a detour, it doesn’t mean that I won’t get there, and

4.  Maybe sometimes one has to make money, THEN do the thing they love.

The two things that stuck out for me were #3 and #4.  I had one method of achieving my goals stuck in my mind.  What if I took a more circuitous route?  Would I still get there?  I sure would…I might even enjoy the journey!  Point #4 is a concept that not too many people embrace.  In our society, we either work our buts off at jobs that we don’t like, or we love what we do, but don’t necessarily make a lot of money at it.  What if we found something that brought in an income, but we were still able to do what we loved?

As a result of this low time, I was able to stop everything and really focus on what was important.  I got a new focus on my business.  Yes, my book release is now pushed back to September, but that now gives me time to actually do a countdown.  My Group Coaching Session did not happen as anticipated…so I now Coach using YouTube.  I will speak where asked and write articles on other peoples’ blogs or on the web.  My income can come from an outside source for a time, or indefinitely.  I don’t feel rushed or stressed any more.

I’ve talked about taking care of yourself in a previous blog.  What I didn’t do in the last while was take some time apart.  Seeing that I am still getting back on my feet, actually going to a tropical destination is not an option at this time.  Pretending that I was there  was just the thing that my tired mind needed to reorganize my thoughts into a new mold. Even though I think outside the box, a new thought can be “boxed” if you think it long enough!

A trip like the one I took is something that I would suggest to anyone who is experiencing mental and or emotional fatigue.  If you can get away for a few days, by all means go.  However, if you are not able to, put on a bathing suit, crank up the heat and enjoy a tropical bevarages as you listen to merengue or other tropical music.  I guarantee, it will help lift your spirits and open your mind to new possibities.

May your Cup Always Be Full,

Emerging Princess

EmergingPrincess’ first YouTub Video

Hello World!

I have been hemming and hawing about blogging for a while. It’s not that I didn’t want to blog, because I do. However, what I have been stuck on is who I was going to represent as I blogged. I have blogged on my website, and I was not satisfied.

You see, I am a Speaker, Writer and a Coach. For the last while, I have been doing Divorce Recovery Coaching. But, my story goes much deeper. I have the capability to work with women who have gone through abusive relationships. I survived one, and have the experience and Coaching tools to help women who are recovering.

Recently, I decided that I was not going to fight the issue any more. (I actually had the help of a friend to push me along.  Thanks Doina!) Since I decided that I am Stephanie, the survivor of abuse, who writes, speaks and coaches in that regard, doors have opened up left-right-and-centre. I am going to speak in High Schools, I’m taking part in Symposiums and appearing on web TV. This was all from word of mouth, and from people calling me out of the blue. I struggled while going the other route. I guess this is God’s way of telling me that I have a message to share.

So, where do I go from here? I am not a bitter survivor. I hope to shed some light on a dark facet of our society~those realities may be hard to swallow. I will attempt to find and share resources that will help women as they journey from being victims to being empowered members of society. But above all, I hope to give uplifting musings of an Emerging Princess as she shows other survivors that they are Emerging Princesses, too!

As an added bonus, I will share some snippets of my book that I hope to release in May of 2012. Although the book is written from a Christian perspective, I am in no way religious. Please don’t hold my Christianity against me! 🙂 I’ll probably offend many pious people with my views.

As I blog, if you have been helped by what I write, please share on Facebook, LinkedIn, Twitter or whatever other social media vehicle that you may use. My goal is to make the Emerging Princess site a huge community for women who want to leave the stigma of the word “victim” behind.

May you find Water for Your Journey,

Stephanie, Emerging Princess

 A wise man once said, “There comes a time in your life, when you walk away from all the drama and people who create it. You surround yourself with people who make you laugh. Forget the bad, and focus on the good. Love the people who treat you right, pray for the ones who don’t. Life is too short to be anything but happy. Falling down is a part of life, getting back up is living.”

My Tweets

Error: Twitter did not respond. Please wait a few minutes and refresh this page.

Water For The Journey

Book Release PartyOctober 25th, 2013
The long-awaited release of Water For The Journey: 156 Days To Freedom. All day givaways and book release party!
%d bloggers like this: